Overview: This in-depth guide takes a unique and highly effective approach to how to overcome laziness by working with it instead of fighting against it.
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Most articles on laziness provide standard “self-help” tips like setting goals, avoiding distraction, being accountable, and finding your motivation.
If that’s the type of “advice” you’re looking for, this guide probably isn’t for you.
Here, we’re going to explore the nature of laziness on a deeper psychological level. These insights provide you with ways of working with laziness instead of trying to shove it aside.
Over time, you may find that this is a superior approach to how to overcome laziness in the long run.
Let’s dive in …
Two Archetypes Related to Laziness
Archetypes are set patterns of behavior. They represent subpersonalities or parts within our psyche that often operate within us without our awareness.
To help illustrate the psychological dynamics of laziness, we’re going to contrast two different types of archetypes:
Archetype #1: The Lazy Person
Those who define themselves as “lazy people” and want to overcome laziness.
Archetype #2: The Achiever
Those who define themselves as over-achievers and who tend to judge lazy people.
For anyone committed to personal development, self-actualization, and self-mastery, laziness can feel like a mortal enemy we must battle. However, this orientation toward laziness doesn’t serve us in the long run.
Meet the Achiever Part
The achiever is busy most of the time. The achiever takes pride in being busy.
Achievers feel anxiety and guilt when they aren’t working or doing something “productive.”
If you have children, how much idle time do they have? Today, some children have schedules like CEOs, packed with back-to-back classes, extracurricular activities, and “play dates.”
Children end their day exhausted, needing to sedate themselves in front of a television just like their parents.
Our culture has a bias toward “achievement”. Busyness and productivity are considered signs of success for the achiever.
Meet the Lazy Part
The nemesis of achievers is laziness. The lazy person lacks motivation.
They either lack the internal energy to do what needs to be done. Or, they are simply directionless and know where to invest their time and attention.
In Christianity, it’s one of the Seven Deadly Sins called sloth. Sloth is failing to do things one should do. Some call it evil when we fail to act.
The achiever is an accepted member of our society; the lazy person is not.
In psychoanalytic terms, when an individual or group shuns a quality within our psyche, it gets pushed back into the shadow.
As long as the lazy person remains our enemy, it forever haunts us.
The Achiever & the Lazy Part are ONE
So here’s the problem:
We subconsciously or consciously believe we have a choice between being achievers or succumbing to laziness.
In the prevailing cultural view, being an achiever means being successful (winner). Being a lazy person means we’re not (losers).
We don’t want to be losers. From the ego’s perspective, we want to win.
But this divide between winners and losers—achievers and laziness—is ultimately an illusion born of ignorance.
The reality is we can be both a lazy person and an achiever, or we can be neither. We can’t be one or the other.
Some of us identify ourselves as achievers (or over-achievers), repressing their lazy part into their shadow.
Other people see themselves as lazy, suppressing their proactive, achieving part.
Both a lazy person and an achiever live within us. We are neither of these archetypes, but they are both within us.
Suppressing Laziness Doesn’t Work
Most of our efforts in personal development and self-discipline are attempts to cage our lazy part.
How do we try to overcome laziness?
We hate, criticize, attack, and condemn it. This approach, however, only strengthens laziness.
What we suppress within our psyche only gets stronger over time.
When we try to fight or suppress laziness, this unconscious force attacks our body:
- We get sick.
- A disease forms.
- Chronic fatigue sets in (requiring a continuous stream of stimulants to keep moving).
- We develop acute and chronic pain somewhere in our body.
Shun the God of Laziness and it sends its wrath upon us.
How Laziness is Born (Understanding This Is Essential)
As a child, we had no responsibilities.
If we were precocious children, we asked lots of questions and explored the world with curiosity and awe.
Or, if left alone, maybe we entered a quiet, Zen-like state, absorbed in the present moment.
But soon, our environment molded our minds.
The Burden of Responsibility
Our parents had the burden of responsibility for themselves and us.
As mature adults, this would not feel like a burden, as they would be ready for this stage in their life cycle.
However, according to developmental psychology, few people ever reach mature psychological adulthood—and almost no one does so in their 20s and 30s when they are raising children.
In our parents was the voice of their parents, who bemoaned, “Why are you sitting around? Go DO something.”
Some of us heard our parents say these words out loud while others absorbed the message psychically (in their subconscious).
Judgment Breeds Laziness
Judgment breeds laziness. Almost always, it’s instilled in us early on from our parents and then from our teachers.
Most of us didn’t like school, and we didn’t enjoy doing homework.
Why would we? Our school systems make learning a tedious chore (which is one way they kill creativity and innate genius from children).1See, for example, Sir Ken Robinson’s RSA ANIMATE: Changing Education Paradigms “Schooling” also teaches us many things we intuitively know are untrue.
Our lack of engagement in our “education” fueled our lazy part.
Plus, there were television and video games. Now, we have the Internet to contend with. Sight, sound, and motion stimulate our brains and dominate our attention. Game over.
In childhood, our environment gives birth to the lazy part. Then, many of us seek answers on how to overcome laziness. Alternatively, we run from it and try to identify ourselves as “achievers.”
The 8 Faces of Laziness and How to Overcome Them
Like procrastination, laziness is a symptom, not a cause.
Before we explore ways of overcoming laziness, it’s helpful to understand the various expressions laziness can take.
What makes laziness so pervasive are the many ways it expresses itself including:
- Confusion: “I don’t know what to do.”
- Neurotic Fear: “I just can’t.”
- Fixed Mindset: “I’m afraid I’ll fail or look stupid.”
- Lethargy: “I’m too tired. I don’t have the energy.”
- Apathy: “I just don’t care about anything.”
- Regret: “I’m too old to get started. It’s too late.”
- Identity: “I’m just a lazy person.”
- Shame: “I shouldn’t be so lazy.”
Do any of these voices sound familiar?
It’s important to hear these voices or thought patterns and to accept them without judgment or criticism.
Behind each voice is a message. These sentiments provide information, nothing more.
Let’s examine each thought pattern. Doing so provides clues on how to overcome laziness.
Confusion: “I don’t know what to do.”
This voice might tell the truth. At this moment, the part expressing this voice doesn’t know what to do.
When you hear this voice, start by finding your center.
Welcome the confusion. It will pass. And clarity will return.
You can also ask your Inner Guide for further insight as to what you need to focus on next.
Neurotic Fear: “I just can’t.”
Real fear evokes the flight or fight response. But laziness often comes from neurotic fear.
Instead of fighting for what we want or fleeing to fight another day, obsessive fear makes us freeze. We feel immobilized by indecision and a lack of action.
To overcome neurotic fear (thereby overcoming laziness), admit your fear, allow yourself to feel it fully, and then take action.
As psychologist David Richo writes in How To Be An Adult,
Acting because of fear is cowardice; acting with fear is the courage that survives it.
To transcend neurotic fear, we must do what we fear.
Fixed Mindset: “I’m afraid I’ll fail or look stupid.”
A fixed mindset is a popular term from psychologist Carol Dweck’s bestseller, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
With a fixed mindset, people believe their talents, abilities, and intelligence are set at birth.
They fear trying new things because they want to look smart and talented even though they lack experience.
Individuals with a growth mindset, in contrast, know their talents, abilities, and intelligence can develop through deliberate practice.
If you hear this voice, change your mindset.
Lethargy: “I’m too tired. I don’t have the energy.”
We invest a lot of energy suppressing our lazy part. The more we run from it, the stronger it becomes in our unconscious.
When you feel lethargic, instead of stimulating yourself with caffeine, accept your fatigue.
Achievers, in particular, can benefit from less activity and more naps.
Close your eyes. Observe your breath. Better yet, go to bed earlier and sleep more.
Embracing lethargy is often the best way to move beyond it to overcome laziness.
You can also practice energy cultivation methods like Zhan Zhuang or grounding exercises. If that doesn’t work, try a cold shower.
Apathy: “I just don’t care about anything.”
Apathy is the voice of depression. We all get depressed.
In my experience as a coach, achievers rarely realize when they’re depressed.
They just “power through it,” which eventually leads to burnout. As with laziness, when we fight depression it grows stronger.
There are many sources of depression. Sometimes we are living off our true course, doing too many things outside of our interests. We confuse disinterest with laziness.
If you hear this voice, connect with an inspiring personal vision and discover your values.
Regret: “I’m too old to get started. It’s too late.”
Having regrets is a part of adulthood. Regret only holds us back when we don’t allow ourselves to grieve the past.
These voices are just beliefs, not truth. They are excuses not to get started right now.
When you hear this voice, feel the sense of loss and then let it go.
Embracing and “letting go” of regret can be a fast way to overcome laziness.
Identity: “I’m just a lazy person.”
If you hear this voice, it’s a sure sign the lazy part has hijacked you.
When we’re centered, we are neutral. We don’t define ourselves as either lazy people or achievers. We just are.
Acknowledge this voice, but then ask it to step aside.
We can express laziness, but it never defines who we are.
Shame: “I shouldn’t be so lazy.”
Shame is another part of us that teams up with laziness.
Shameful thoughts and feelings ensure the lazy part stays in control.
Shame and self-criticism reinforce undesirable behaviors.
In contrast, self-compassion enables us to take responsibility and establish more supportive habits and behaviors.
Being lazy is okay. It doesn’t mean anything about you.
Everyone has a lazy part. You’re not alone. Sometimes overcoming laziness is as easy as accepting this part of you.
The Cycle of Suffering with Laziness
We have all had people judge us for our laziness.
But anyone who judged us was denying their lazy part and projecting it onto us.
We didn’t know what was happening, but we felt shame and guilt for our laziness in childhood.
If we are aware of this shame and guilt, we can resolve it.
However, many of us lack the emotional awareness to navigate through these emotions.
Instead, we do the same thing to other people: we cut ourselves off from our lazy part and judge others for their laziness.
How to Overcome Laziness: The Secret Key
Rather than fighting with the lazy part, embrace it.
Dialogue with your lazy part using active imagination.
Get to know it. Welcome laziness. Befriend it. Allow it to be.
Whether or not we want it, this lazy part is in us. Best we make friends with it or at least become neutral towards it.
Laziness can be a powerful ally. It can help you get things done quickly so you can go back to being lazy.
Making Friends With Laziness
How do you know if you’re making friends with your laziness?
You won’t be hard on yourself when this part takes over. You also won’t criticize others possessed by this part.
Instead, you’ll have compassion for them as you will understand their inner battle.
Rather than placing shame, guilt, and criticism on ourselves or others for being lazy, we can practice self-acceptance and self-compassion.
Studies show people who have self-compassion are more likely to take personal responsibility than those who self-criticize.2Leary MR, et al. Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: the implications of treating oneself kindly. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2007 May;92(5):887-904. doi: 10.1037/0022-3514.92.5.887.
But Won’t Laziness Take Over?
The fear of laziness taking over makes achievers want to fight against it.
Although some people exert a strong will against their lazy part, for most people, the lazy part has already won.
That’s why habits, willpower, and motivation are popular topics in psychology and self-improvement circles.
Self-criticism leads to poor behavior. Psychologist Kristin Neff explains:3https://archive.nytimes.com/well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/28/go-easy-on-yourself-a-new-wave-of-research-urges/
The biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.
Self-compassion, not self-criticism, will inspire positive growth.
Laziness and Over-Achieving: Two Sides of the Same Coin
Ultimately, both laziness and over-achieving are signs of mental imbalance.
The source of this imbalance lies in repressed emotions and conditioned behaviors.
Operating from either end of the spectrum is not a sign of self-leadership or mature psychological adulthood.
As mature adults, we can accept limitations, and be kind toward ourselves. Our job is to bring these internal opposing forces into balance.
How to Use Laziness to Relax
One reason many of us struggle to overcome laziness is we never allow ourselves to be 100 percent lazy.
Laziness persists when we resist it.
Even when we give in to it, if we aren’t aware of the shame or guilt, a part of us resists and judges our laziness.
That’s why it rarely lets go.
Truly lazy people shouldn’t hold any muscular strain because holding tension takes effort. And lazy people don’t like effort.
Lazy people shouldn’t have shallow breathing (from their chests) because that too is a sign of holding tension.
Relax into your lazy part so you can breathe deeply into your belly.
Embrace your lazy part and experience deep rest—perhaps for the first time. Your body will thank you later.
We can use our lazy part to relax deeply. If we do, we’ll feel less neurotic (anxious, depressed, and moody).
We won’t need to sedate ourselves with food, binge-watching shows, the internet, and so on.
How to Overcome Laziness: The Power of Doing Nothing
Also, it’s important to distinguish between doing nothing and avoiding responsibility.
Our cultural bias says doing nothing is slothful. But is it?
When meditation training was introduced to the American culture in the 1950s, most psychologists believed it was a form of escapism. It was highly criticized.
Now, with the help of neuroscience and transpersonal psychology, we know otherwise.
Mindfulness practices provide a solution to our obsession with busyness. In doing nothing, we observe within ourselves and our environment. We see things differently.
Experiencing sensations and emotions more deeply adds new texture and dimension to our lives.
Sure, we have nothing to show for these experiences, but “achievement” isn’t the meaning of life—even if many of us are programmed to believe it is.
Laziness is Part of the Creative Process
Years ago, I studied dozens of creative geniuses trying to better understand the creative process.
The second stage of the creative process is often called “incubation.”
In the incubation stage, creatives naturally allow their minds to wander. They daydream. Disconnect. Reflect. Enter sometimes long periods of reverie.
This incubation stage is an essential component of what psychologists call “big C” creativity.
Reverie, from the outside, looks a whole lot like laziness, doesn’t it?
That is, skilled creative geniuses learn how to make friends with their lazy part. They don’t let this part own them, but they instinctively know when to embrace it.
Final Words on How to Overcome Laziness
So how to overcome laziness?
Instead of trying to do more or be more, consider accepting yourself as you are right now—laziness and all.
In the long run, personal attacks won’t lead to meaningful change, fulfillment, or higher performance.
It will only create a stronger ego (more internal resistance) and more self-hatred.
Focus on self-acceptance instead of self-criticism. It makes all the difference in your efforts to overcome laziness.
As Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron advises, “Start where you are.”
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What Do You Think?
Leave your thoughts, questions, and comments below.
I like it! Relax into your lazy. I can feel it. As someoine who is constantly trying to do more in a scheduled and feeling guilty for taking time off or leaving things which feel too hard, this is an eye opener. I’ll continue to use this with my mini habits actions. Thank you.
That’s great to hear, Anna. Most of us have been shamed and guilted for laziness, which only makes it stronger in us. And repressing it works to a certain point and then it leads to illness and discontent.
I always enjoy reading these insights from you. It is a great source of reading and learning. I answered yes to all the lazy questions – this is so me. Now if I can only act on doing what you suggest, I think a lot of my issues would work themselves out. : ) Thank you Scott!
For sure, Kym. You’re most welcome.
The main thing is to become conscious of these “voices” and begin to differentiate them instead of identifying them with the core of “you.”
I found myself in two categories, confusion and lethargy. İt is great to discover the reason solution would be painful but finding real reason is really difficult.
Thanks for your contribition.
Sure thing, GökhanT. Thank you for your comments.
Your work is as well delivered as it is inspiring. Thank you
Sure thing, Simon.
How does one overcome laziness that gets in the way of productivity & results in missed opportunities?? I understand we are to accept it but how to fix it??
It may be helpful for you to read this guide again. If you’re trying to “fix it,” you haven’t understood and/or accepted what’s driving the behavior. Once you come to terms with it, you’ll be in a better position to regulate your behavior.
While reading this I noticed a shift in how I was feeling. I am inspired very much by this article. Thank you
That’s great to hear, Angela. Perhaps a “part” of you let go…
I’m too lazy to even read this article.
Well, Carl, at least you had sufficient motivation to scroll to the bottom and leave a comment. ;-)
Very interesting. Am trying to relate this to my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/M.E. I was ever a “doer” and am indeed critical of those around me if they’re not busy; seems like I haven’t accepted the illness yet!
It’s not really about “accepting the illness.” It’s about accepting the fact that you’re not how you perceive yourself to be.
That’s what happens as you get to know and integrate your shadow. You realize, again and again, that you’re not how you thought you were.
At first, the ego feels a sense of loss or defeat. But this is followed by a feeling of okayness that grounds you (once you accept this reality).
Wonderfully conveyed just what I need right now
Brilliant article! I have been rejecting my lazy part and trying to pretend it is not there and then also getting annoyed with my husbands laziness, and reinforcing his laziness instead of acknowledging my own and accepting working with it
Thank you Scott! ? you help me very much
Sure thing, Amy.
And you accurately described the psychological dynamics that play out in virtually every home!
this truly helped me today… how insightful! thank you for your writing!
Outcome is rewarded over effort and intent in our world and yet the juice is hardly ever worth the squeeze. The juice must become the squeeze and authentic purpose must take the place of ego comparisons. Otherwise, life and the perpetuation of life is a meaningless unrewarding experience, filled with pointless suffering, utterly devoid of value. Motivation is not possible under such conditions but I do not believe that this is our fate.
Thank you for your article.
I might not fully understand it right now because some question is coming to me but it seem that im not able to explain it Well.
If i understood well, what is denied persists.
So there is no way to change myself ?
If i drive next To a McDonald and the smelling make me want To eat junk, i should accept it and indulge in eating junk food ?
If someone try To upset me, should i accept that i want To physically beat him and do it ?
Some time i don’t want To work on my piano score but usually, i forcémyself and then i am happy To have worked on it and have enjoyed the session.
When i wanted To lose weight, every sport session that i impose my self to loose weight and be in better shape was awfull and i took no pleasure, i forced myself To do it. But now that i am in good shape i dont miss a chance to do some sport.
Is the brain not against any kind of change ( positiv or negativ) at the beginning ? Or maybe is it selfhelp bullshit.
I thank you in advance for your answer and for your article. I hope that you understand my interogation.
Have a good day
Thomas
Thomas, it appears you may be misunderstanding the message here.
It’s a fundamental principle of the psyche that what you resist within yourself, persists or grows stronger. This is a psychological principle.
The illustration you gave with McDonald’s would be more of a biological trigger related to impulse control.
See this guide.
In the second illustration, if someone upsets you and you acknowledge that you want to beat him, then you’re not resisting. You’re acknowledging the impulse and then regulating it.
The problem arises when you don’t acknowledge that thought. Then, it builds within you, causing you to become more aggressive or directed inward it leads to physical pain and illness.
Same goes for your other illustrations. You’re confusing impulse control with internal acceptance.
In the case of working out, a lot of times the ego feels better that you “pushed through” the resistance (because it elevates your self-image), but later on (years later sometimes) you may come to realize that this pushing through came at the cost of our feeling function (or perhaps your soul).
Neuroscience holds a lot of influence over how we perceive things. As such, much of our behaviors are reduced to neurotransmitters inducing particular signals that “cause” our behavior. However, whether or not they are actually the root “cause” is still open to debate.
Sir,
I thank you verry much for your answer. It has explained what i didnt fully understood.
Hi Scott, thank you for this insight. I am feeling guiltier about being lazy in the things I wanted to achieve the older I get. Overthinking about what I could have achieved so far, instead of just starting. On the other spectrum, being an overachiever in things that don’t bring much joy to me. Currently working on your course to find my core values. Never thought would be so hard to discover them. Have to remind myself to go back to the centre and forget about what others want me to do. Leah
Hi Leah,
“I am feeling guiltier about being lazy in the things I wanted to achieve the older I get. Overthinking about what I could have achieved so far, instead of just starting.”
I can certainly relate to this. The key, I’ve found, is to hear this voice — that is, acknowledge the part of yourself that feels this way — and then simply start taking action in the direction of your aspirations.
Over time, I found that this part that expresses, “Think of what you could have achieved…” just likes to express regret. If we fight it, it creates internal tension. But if we acknowledge this voice and take direct action regardless, this “guilty” and “regretful” voice lessens as a consequence of our consistent actions.
So very true Scott! The quicker we acknowledge it is there, the sooner we can move forward. Very true for many aspects of our lives. If we don’t acknowledge it, we are just going in never ending circles. Thanks again for posting!
That’s right, Leah.
If we don’t bring these voices/patterns to full consciousness, they repeat in an endless cycle. The infamous Uroboros — the snake eating its own tail.