OVERVIEW: This guide explores how repressed emotions affect our bodies and provides a range of deep methods for releasing repressed emotions.
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I’ve always felt at home with thoughts and ideas.
But emotions were like aliens inhabiting my body and mind. Like many others, I didn’t know how to relate to them or what to do with them.
As with all psychic content, what we can’t deal with often gets swept under the rug.
Although this approach may seem to work for a while, eventually repressed emotions wreak havoc on our mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
So what are repressed emotions? What are they doing to us? And how the heck can we work with them?
Let’s dive in …
What are Repressed Emotions (versus Suppressed Emotions)?
First, let’s clarify our terminology.
Suppressed emotions are emotions we consciously avoid. That is, we’re aware of these emotions, but for various reasons, choose not to deal with them when they arise.
In contrast, repressed emotions are emotions we aren’t conscious of. These emotions don’t register in our conscious minds.
Psychoanalytically speaking, both suppressing and repressing emotions are common ego defense mechanisms.
How Suppressing Emotions Can Turn into Repression
A seven-year-old is doing homework at the kitchen table. His disgruntled older brother storms in and rakes his hand over the countertop, sending the younger brother’s books flying to the floor.
The seven-year-old is enraged, but he quickly sees the rage in his big brother’s eyes. He doesn’t want to get hit too, so he says nothing, bending down to pick up his schoolwork.
Now, what happened to the younger child’s rage? He doesn’t express it out of fear of the consequences. Instead, he suppresses it. That is, he pushes it down within him.
If the boy is successful at pushing his rage away, very soon, he won’t even feel it anymore. Perhaps he goes and plays video games instead.
Does that mean the anger went away? Nope. It just indicates that the boy successfully repressed his rage out of consciousness.
But then where did the rage go?
How Repressed Emotions Affect the Body
Modern psychology most often views repressed emotions as a mental event—something that takes place in the mind or brain.
Psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich, a contemporary of Freud and Jung, took a different viewpoint.
Reich observed the effects repressed emotions had on the body, calling it body armor. As we accumulate emotional trauma in childhood, to adapt to our environment, our bodies (and character) begin shielding us from additional emotional pain.
This armor hinders our ability to connect with and heal old emotional wounds and experience the resulting release from this process.
More recently, psychiatrist Bessel Van Der Kolk and physician John E. Sarno have verified Reich’s theories with a host of clinical data.
An Eastern Perspective on Emotions
Reich’s insights were discovered thousands of years ago in ancient China.
The Taoists view emotions as information or energy. When something blocks this flow of information, it creates energetic stagnation within the body.
In the Taoist system, they associate various organs with specific emotions. For example:
- Fear goes to the kidneys.
- Anger stores in the liver.
- Grief lives in the lungs.
In fact, from a Taoist perspective, the majority of physical illnesses find their root in repressed emotions that cause energetic blockages in the body’s energy meridians.
Repressed Emotions = Trauma
Bessel Van Der Kolk’s The Body Keeps the Score (2015) has become a runaway bestseller.
This is encouraging because it means that the public is starting to tune in to the role of childhood trauma and how it influences the rest of our lives.
As Van Der Kolk’s title suggests, the body really does keep score. The body, in the language of depth psychology, IS the unconscious.
Trauma isn’t just the result of physical abuse. Emotional trauma also influences the body in deleterious ways.
Psychiatrist Carl Jung referred to our collective disconnection from our emotional field as a “wounded feeling function.” This wounded feeling function is the result of trauma, which leads to repressed emotions that are stored in the body.
The Inestimable Cost of Repressed Emotions
Instead of processing these emotions from early trauma, most of us subconsciously learn to avoid them.
Avoiding feelings leads to emotional numbness. It’s also a primary driver behind most of our:
- Neurotic tendencies,
- Compulsive behaviors,
- Addictions, and
- Consumerism.
To avoid feeling negative emotions, we pursue distractions and stimulations.
We might sedate ourselves with excessive work, television, food, alcohol, drugs, the Internet, shopping, or something else we hope will give us a temporary lift in our attempt to run from ourselves.
Repressing emotions takes tremendous energy. Could chronic fatigue and our obsession with caffeine, tea, and energy drinks mainly be due to this repression? It seems likely.
The cost of not attending to our emotions is higher still. Unhealed psychic wounds also mute our experience of positive emotions like joy, wonder, curiosity, enthusiasm, and love.
Repressed emotions, left unchecked and unexamined, can destroy our relationships, make us miserable, and cause physical diseases and chronic pain.
Repressed Emotions and Chronic Pain
John Sarno was a medical physician hated by his profession. For decades, he helped heal thousands of patients with chronic pain—especially back pain—without any surgery.
How? Sarno’s primary method was to explain to his patients, through a logical, well-crafted presentation, that the source of their pain wasn’t physical (like a degenerative disc). Instead, the cause of their suffering was repressed emotions—especially rage.
If you’re dealing with chronic pain of any kind, I highly recommend Sarno’s books: Healing Back Pain, The Mind-Body Prescription, and The Divided Mind.
When we consider how much time and energy we, as a culture, invest in “healing” or “optimizing” our bodies and minds, we can better appreciate how we’re not addressing the primary cause.
The cause of physical dis-ease and chronic pain is usually emotional, not physical. (Again, from traditional Chinese medicine, as much as 95% of illness is psychosomatic in origin.)
For example, millions of people suffer from jaw tension and TMJ. Stress and repressed emotions are at the root of this common problem.
10 Commonly Repressed Emotions
Now, let’s review 10 commonly repressed emotions. Keep in mind that these negative emotions are the source of much of our inner tensions, chronic pain, inconsistent behaviors, and discontent.
Repressed Anger and Rage
Repressed anger runs through most, if not all, of us. Any form of mistreatment (teasing, bullying, rejection) in childhood or the denial of basic human needs, can lead to repressed rage. Personality traits like perfectionism and a strong need for approval from others add to the mix, as does aging and the reality of our mortality.
Additionally, the tyrannical part of us can get indignant about virtually anything, fueling this rage. Repressed rage can lead to anxiety, depression, and chronic pain.
Repressed Grief and Sadness
When we don’t fully process loss, we drag it along with us. In repressing our grief, we also suppress authentic joy.
Emotional crying that doesn’t lead to catharsis is usually a form of ego drama, not healing. If your mind continually goes to images of the past (a person, place, or thing), it’s a sign that you’re holding on to something that requires processing or deeper understanding.
Repressed Shame and Guilt
Shame and guilt seem to be the primary operating system of our culture—in how we parent and teach. It’s also the basis of many organized religions.
Shame and guilt are powerful tools of manipulation to get us to do what others want. These emotions are so pervasive in many people’s style of communication that we often don’t know how to communicate without transmitting these emotions subconsciously.
Inappropriate shame and guilt that are psychically dumped on an individual also lead to repressed rage. At the same time, avoiding appropriate shame and guilt stalls our psychological development.
Those who hold a lot of repressed shame and guilt often keep their heads tilted downward. They also often avoid making prolonged eye contact.
Repressed Hatred
During childhood, many of us are taught that it’s not acceptable to hate. Does this make the feeling of hatred go away? Nope. It only forces us to push it into our unconscious where it becomes an attribute of our shadow.
For example, most parents repress their feelings of resentment and hatred toward their children for the same reason: it’s not okay to hate. Children don’t experience our words; they absorb our subconscious and unconscious feelings. Even when we say, “I love you,” these words can be a mask for unowned hatred.
Repressed Fear
With normal fear, there’s a flight or fight response. In contrast, repressed fear immobilizes us, leading to neurotic behavior.
Repressed fear makes our world small and limits our perceived options. It also constricts our bodies and damages our kidneys.
One way to tell if you’re holding repressed fear is to observe your posture and alignment. Individuals holding a lot of fear generally have their shoulders raised and their heads down. You’ll notice general tightness in the body as well—especially along the spine.
Repressed Desire
Power, wealth, status, sex, winning, competing, and control dominate our lower soul; they are the default drives in our society. Many of us, in our attempts to be “spiritual,” repress these base desires.
As I mentioned in this spiritual awakening guide, a common trap is to believe you are “better than” others by identifying yourself as “spiritual.” By doing so, we inevitably repress these societal values. Also, when we deny the existence of these desires, it leads us to repress envy…
Repressed Envy
The dominant values in our society are to achieve and win. Comparison and competition drive achievement. The subconscious messages of the achiever’s mindset include:
- “I’m better than you.”
- “Catch me if you can.”
- “You’ll never be as good as me.”
- “I’m a winner (which implies that you’re a loser).”
The reason social media makes people depressed is that it reinforces these subconscious messages.1Holly B. Shakya and Nicholas A. Christakis, “A New, More Rigorous Study Confirms: The More You Use Facebook, the Worse You Feel,” Harvard Business Review, 2017. The hidden messages behind many social posts are “Look how great I am” and “Look what I have, and you don’t.”
This form of subtle teasing, if we’re not conscious of it, makes us envy things we may not even want. Repressed envy leads to depression and anxiety (“I must have it or else!”) as well as repressed rage.
How to Release Repressed Emotions
There are many methods for releasing suppressed emotions. See this guide on self-awareness activities.
The challenge with releasing repressed emotions is that we’re not conscious of them.
As such, cognitive approaches are relatively ineffective.
Instead, as Van Der Kolk shows, we need to address the source of the trauma: the body.
Thankfully, we have a host of effective modalities at our disposal including:
- Trauma Release Exercises
- Bioenergetic Analysis
- Psychedelic Psychotherapy
- EMDR
Let’s take a deeper look at each of these therapeutic modalities:
Trauma Release Exercises
Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) are based on the understanding that trauma (repressed emotion) is stored within our bodies.
TRE offers a simple set of deep stretches and exercises specifically targeting the psoas muscle where core trauma is believed to be stored.
The key to using TRE is to get your body to spontaneously shake, which is what should have happened when the initial trauma first took place.
TRE is something you can do at home. There are loads of videos on YouTube with step-by-step instructions and demonstrations. TRE compliments the other exercises listed below. It can provide a very cathartic experience.
Here’s a brief explanation of TRE from its creator, David Berceli, Ph.D.:
Bioenergetic Analysis
Pioneered by physician Alexander Lowen, bioenergetics is a therapeutic technique designed to help people release chronic muscular tension.
The field of bioenergetics is largely inspired by Wilhelm Reich’s work mentioned above.
Bioenergetics offers a system of deep stretches, movements, and breathing to release physical tension and energetic blockage.
Similar to TRE, you can find lots of free videos and instructions for bioenergetics online.
Psychedelic Therapy
In the 1960s, psychiatrist Stanislav Grof conducted pioneering research where psychotherapy patients were administered LSD. The effectiveness of this treatment is noteworthy and Grof’s book LSD Psychotherapy is a fascinating read.
I suspect, however, that Grof’s results would have been even more compelling if he had administered a natural psychedelic like psilocybin, peyote, or mescaline.
LSD is a lab-created hallucinogenic. While research shows that LSD does light up the entire brain region, its effects are still largely a mental phenomenon.2Sam Wong, First LSD brain imaging study offers insights into consciousness, 2016.
In contrast, psilocybin from “magic mushrooms” produces a more body-oriented effect, which is more conducive to bringing trauma to consciousness and healing it.
The challenge with this approach, of course, is legality as psilocybin, peyote, or mescaline are still restricted substances in most countries.
Plus, using psychedelics as a therapeutic modality requires the correct “set and setting.” That is, a person’s consciousness needs to be in the right framework and the substance needs to be taken in a conducive environment.
Those criteria aside, psychedelic-based psychotherapy is an effective way to release stored trauma in the body.
EMDR
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a form of psychotherapy used for individuals with various traumas and post-traumatic stress disorder.
With EMDR, you are conscious of the traumatic event, but the repressed emotions are still stuck in the body.
Van Der Kolk highlighted a lot of research on EMDR in The Body Keeps the Score. Although some academics say this treatment is “controversial,” sufficient data illustrates its efficacy.3Rodenburg R, Benjamin A, de Roos C, et al. Efficacy of EMDR in children: a meta-analysis. 2009. In: Database of Abstracts of Reviews of Effects (DARE): Quality-assessed Reviews [Internet]. York (UK): Centre for Reviews and Dissemination (UK); 1995-. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735809000890/
With standard EMDR, the individual focuses on a particular traumatic event while shifting their eyes side-by-side. There are also forms of EMDR that use “bilateral stimulation.”
I used a form of EMDR years ago that involved holding electrically pulsing paddles as the traumatic events were held in mind.
If you’re interested, here’s a step-by-step demonstration of EMDR therapy:
The Importance of Opening the Body
Regardless of which modalities you use to address repressed emotions, it helps to invest time in “opening the body” first.
This translates to:
- Relaxing and gently stretching the outer muscles;
- Stretching and loosening the tendons and connective tissue (sinew);
- Creating space around the bones and joints.
For example, many people have difficulty sitting for long periods in meditation because the lower half of their bodies quickly get fidgety and numb.
This means their bodies are too tight and closed. However, if they open their bodies first, they’ll find it much easier to sit and meditate for longer periods.
This tightness is also often a result of repressed and suppressed emotions. Bioenergetic analysis can help with this as well as qigong and yoga (discussed below).
Strengthening the Mind-Body Connection
When you start to address trauma and repressed emotions, you’re likely mostly unconscious of your body.
You may experience numbness in many regions and pain or tightness in other areas.
Cultivating greater body awareness is incredibly beneficial as it helps us bridge the gap between our conscious minds and the unconscious (body).
With greater communication between the two, we have access to more information that we wouldn’t otherwise have.
Van Der Kolk highlights the importance of mind-body integration in the recovery section of his book.
Here are a series of practices you can use to facilitate a stronger connection between your body and mind:
- Conscious breathing
- Grounding techniques
- Conscious stretching
- Qigong and Yoga
Let’s have a look at each one:
Conscious Breathing
It’s fascinating how most of us breathe incorrectly. Correct breathing is our natural way of breathing, but repressed emotions lead us to improper breathing.
Improper breathing leads to a host of neurosis like anxiety and depression. If you feel emotionally numb or don’t know what you’re feeling throughout the day, there’s a good chance your breathing is out of alignment.
Learning to correctly “tune the breath” is beneficial for both healing the body and cultivating emotional awareness.
When you’re naturally breathing quietly, deeply, steadily, and slowly, you’ll gain access to loads of internal information regarding your current state that you cannot access otherwise.
Note that conscious breathing is not formerly a “technique.” That is, you can’t try to breathe correctly or follow a “guided meditation” for breathing.
Doing so will only introduce an unnatural process to your somatic system.
See this guide on proper breathing principles.
Grounding Techniques
Part of being cut off from our instincts is the result of being disconnected from the Earth.
Grounding, also called earthing, is an incredibly simple yet powerful method of bringing one’s awareness back into the body.
With grounding techniques, you stand barefoot on the Earth while bringing your attention within your body. (I use my gravel driveway.)
After about 20 minutes, you’ll feel different. Combining grounding with the other activities discussed here can be very powerful.
See this guide on how to ground yourself.
Conscious Stretching
For our purposes here, you don’t have to get fancy with the style or type of stretching. All you need to do is focus your awareness inside your body in the region you’re currently stretching.
Many people listen to music or watch their screens when they stretch. This is a huge missed opportunity.
You can easily turn stretching into a form of meditation simply by placing your awareness inside your body.
Qigong or Yoga
Both of these systems represent the most advanced forms of body-mind integration you’re likely to find anywhere. They are both millennia-old.
While I regularly do a select number of classic yoga postures, I have invested a great deal of time training in various forms of qigong and internal martial arts over the last fifteen years. If there was one thing that aided me in body-mind integration, it was qigong and neigong practices.
See this guide on Zhan Zhuang for a brief overview of qigong and step-by-step instructions on how to get started with this ancient standing practice. It truly can help you develop a deeper level of body sensitivity.
Also, as I describe in that guide, Zhan Zhuang can produce “spontaneous shaking” similar to what you experience with Trauma Release Exercises.
Releasing Repressed Emotions with Depth Psychology
The Jungians offer another approach to addressing deeply-seeded repressed emotions.
The psyche represents the totality of one’s being—including both the body and the mind.
Psychiatrist Carl Jung’s primary ways of communicating with the unconscious (body) were via dreams and imagination.
That is, instead of addressing the unconscious through the physical body, he went deep into the minds of his patients to what he called the primordial images, or archetypes.
For Jung, the archetypes “are the living system of reactions and aptitudes.”4C.G. Jung, The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche, CW, Vol 8, 1970. These living systems include our emotional experiences.
In fact, according to Jung, the archetypes come alive in us via emotions and images. In Man and His Symbols, Jung explains that archetypes “are the pieces of life itself—images that are integrally connected to the living individual by the bridge of the emotions.”
As such, depth psychology offers an additional avenue for addressing our traumas and the emotions stored within us.
Shadow Work
We are complex creatures with opposing tensions within us. For every aspect of our conscious personality, we identify with, an opposing quality lives within our unconscious.
By age 18, we have cut off and divorced ourselves from many aspects of our personality—including our repressed emotions.
Getting to know these disowned parts is essential for healing our psyches (releasing stored emotions) and moving toward mature adulthood. Shadow work seeks to bring these disowned parts to light so they won’t influence our behavior.
Here’s an in-depth guide on how to get to know and integrate your shadow.
Inner Dialogue
Jung used two primary methods with his patients to explore their unconscious and help heal the divide in their psyches:
- Dream analysis
- Active imagination
It’s certainly a good idea to capture relevant dreams in a journal—even if you’re not in analysis. Many of your dreams are a doorway into your emotional landscape.
Active imagination is the process of dialoguing with the various archetypes/parts of our unconscious.
Within our minds is a family of inner voices (or subpersonalities) with their own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Dialoguing with these characters out loud or in a journal can help us access deeply-seeded emotions and traumatic events.
Here’s a practical guide to active imagination to help you get started.
An Integrated Approach to Repressed Emotions
So what’s the best way to approach addressing repressed emotions?
We’re all a bit different, and some methods will work better than others for various reasons.
However, overall, for individuals committed to internal healing and psychological development, it’s prudent to take an integrated approach.
Addressing the physical body is a must. Techniques like TRE and Bioenergetic Analysis can certainly be useful in releasing repressed emotions.
EMDR can be effective when we’re aware of a particular traumatic event. However, oftentimes, this is not the case. The reality is that we’re often unconscious of our past—hence, we cut ourselves off (repress) the emotions and dissociate from our body.
The Centaur Stage of Development
That’s why body-mind integration is so vital for healing.
In No Boundary, integral theorist Ken Wilber labeled body-mind integration the Centaur Level—an essential stage of human development.
So what does an integrated approach to repressed emotions look like?
- Address stored trauma in the body via modalities like TRE, EMDR, and Bioenergetic Analysis
- Probe psychic wounds via inner work
- Finally, use body-mind integration practices to forge a strong connection between your conscious mind and your unconscious (body).
This approach doesn’t need to be done in any particular order, although as stated above, it’s helpful to “open the body” as much as possible first.
Life is messy. Follow your instincts and intuition.
Start with the methods above that speak to you the most, and go from there.
In my journey to healing, I used all of the modalities and many others at various times along the way.
Good luck!
Digital Sounds to Awaken Your Heart?
Okay, so I understand that many individuals have resistance to working with their feelings—especially negative emotions.
It’s not an area that comes easy for me either.
One thing I’ve noticed is that it’s sometimes helpful to reduce the overall emotional charge before approaching your emotions head-on.
And to that effect, for years I used technology to help put me in a better state first.
One tool that I found to be effective was the digitally encoded Heartwave Meditation™ program by iAwake Technologies.
If you want to test it out for yourself, you can download a free 9-minute version here.
(Disclaimer: affiliate link above)
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What do you think?
Share your thoughts, questions, and comments below.
Note: I recently did a massive revision to this guide. Some of the content referenced in the comments below was moved to this emotional awareness guide.
Great article, Scott (as always). In my personal experience it is also helpful to de-identify from a problem, but not from an emotion and this differentiation can help along the way, as it get mixed up quickly. I also like Rudolf Steiners theory that there is “feeling, thinking and wanting” as three major forces driving us in an interdependence. So once we think something for example, feeling and acting upon this feeling (the mentioned “wanting”) kicks in. Once we become aware these programmed connections can be dissolved and we can simply feel a feeling without thinking or wanting to act on it getting in the way (as mentioned also in the video you inserted into this article). This helped me a lot to center on simply a thought, a feeling, or a “wanting” to do something, without mixing all of them to a toxic cocktail of reactionistic unconciousness. Anyway, thanks a lot for the insights!
Thanks for the comments, Michael. I’m a fan of Steiners’ work too. Great distinctions.
Good work
. keep up
Very clear and easy to understand, thank you.
You are most welcome!
These suggestions are just what I need !! I always enjoy and appreciate your articles. Your work is an important contribution . Thank You Scott
J. Wolper
That’s wonderful to hear, Jennifer. Thank you for your comments.
Hi Scott, a very insightfull article once again! I love the Alan Watts clip, he remains a favorite of mine.
Emotional movement/ release/ expression is a big part of my daily inner work practice. I Wonder if I can ask you, when it comes to emotional release, as emotion is energy and energy, vibration, do you think that emotional release should have a physical movement or sound? The idea or “letting go” like with vipassana/mindfullness always seems rather “mind and thoughts” orientated to me? Any thoughts or practical advice on that?
Also thank you for mentioning the Sedona method, I have never heard of it and will definitely look into that. I Appreciate your work so much!
Regards
S.F
Hi S.F. Thanks for your comments and question.
Most definitely, releasing emotions coincides with visceral movements and sensations in the body. It’s mainly a function of your individual level of sensitivity (body intelligence). The more connected you are with your energetic body, the more vivid the movement of emotions becomes. Of all the transformational practices I’ve been exposed to, qigong (and more advanced practices like neigong and neidan) are the best ways of developing a connection to your energetic body.
Hi Scott great article on the Sedona Method. The father of the Sedona Method did not go free using the method that “came” from him.
He said his problems were suppressed feelings.
Doesn’t one have to “feel” that suppressed emotion. As it was never felt in order for it to release for good? Thanks
Don’t waste your time with the Sedona Method, it is not simple. Its a project and it will just show you that you are repressing even more. It is strictly a cognitive exercise and not subconscious….
Hi Dill,
This article isn’t on the Sedona Method. It’s about transmuting negative emotions. I believe the “Sedona Method” was only referenced once.
That said, what you mentioned about Mr. Levenson is accurate.
And yes, you can’t released what you’re not conscious of.
Hi Scott, Yes I know the article was not about SM. But one of the commentators stated they were to embark in on it. I learned what I needed to learn about the SM in 3 years but spent another 4 years trying to make it work….After realizing this I went back to study what Lester really did…and it had very little to do with the SM. I just wanted to warn him that its best to stay away from SM. Thanks for your answer
What did Lester do to release the trapped emotions? I’m not familiar with the Sedona Method. I was just googling how to peocess emotions and came across this article and your comments. Thank you.
You’re asking a question that would take an entire book to explain as you’re asking how the Sedona Method works. But in the context of this discussion, we are saying that he didn’t release those emotions — he only repressed them out of view.
Scott,
This has been very enlightening for me and I really enjoy reading all of your articles. Making changing habits has always been a challenge for me, but this course has started me on the right path. :) I appreciate your hard work!
That’s great to hear! Thanks for your comment. Changing habits is a challenge for all of us!
Thanks for your article!
Where should I go to learn more about transmutation?
– Are you mainly inspired by Jung, or tantra perhaps?
Hi Pete. Transmutation in this context is just a general term for changing one substance into another. So I can’t recommend any resources on “transmutation” as such.
My influences include Jungian psychology, transpersonal psychology, Taoist alchemy, qigong, Buddhism, humanistic psychology, and many others.
Thanks. Yes, I was wondering where you learned about working with emotions in the sense you describe in this article. My impression is that Jung doesn’t teach it in the way it is described here, but I might be wrong.
I know, on the other hand, I know that the tantric buddhists talk about alchemy of emotions (Trungpa etc.), and Ken Wilber mentions this in his work on transpersonal psychology.
I have heard about taoist alchemy, but I wasn’t aware that they but emphasis on the transmutation of emotions. Anyway, I’m curious about taoist alchemy now.
Thanks for responding :)
While emotions play a vital role in the Taoist system, they would mainly approach the issue by working directly with chi/energy instead of the emotions themselves. The Six Healing Sounds would be one example of this.
Jung didn’t really address emotions in this way either. Wilber and transpersonal psychology is more likely to put it in this “transmutation” context.
Great article, but I seem to have a hard time know what the feeling is, also it seems hard to get it moving. It resides as a lump in my throat and a heavines over my nose and forehead. Any insights on this would be much appreciated
Hi Calle. I’m glad you asked that question because it opens up an important topic that I didn’t explore in this guide.
If you’re physically feeling the emotion, that’s actually a great sign, because it means that you’re more connected with your body. According to
Taoist theory like qigong and neigong, emotional energy is stored energetically within the body. As such, you can learn to move that stuck/blocked/stagnate energy with subtle movements or even with your mind.
See my guide on Zhan Zhuang (https://scottjeffrey.com/zhan-zhuang/). I also recommend Damo Mitchell’s books including “Daoist Nei Gong” and “The Four Dragons” (which deals specifically with purging negative energy).
Hi Scott, I have been practicing emotional conditioning on myself, It is not an easy process by any means, however, very empowering, freeing, and cleansing for lack of a better word. I do want to share what I experienced as briefly as possible. After going through a few weeks of really digging down, I did go through a depression, what I assumed was depression, after releasing some abandonment issues, and anxiety, I felt great, but different, a feeling I had never experienced before, almost like something was missing, wasnt hunger, I wasnt ill, ,, but when my friend showed up with some distressing news, and a bit of drama, I found I felt “normal” again. It took me a day or so to figure it out. I had lived with that distress and drama and all the emotions throughout my life, I didnt know what it felt like not to carry it. I have since been re releasing it, but I thought I should share it. I know now what to expect to feel like when some of the emotional baggage is lifted.
Many blessings, and thank you so much for your article.
Hi Trich, thank you for sharing your experience. We do all seem to have an “emotional setpoint” that gets entrenched over time. The ego love drama and the archetypes within us seem to love juicing negative emotions.
So even when we rise above the “dark vapor” of these energies, they most often try to re-assert themselves. I’ve experienced this many times as well. I’ve also noticed that when one person enters a light or elevated states, the archetypes in others attempt to drag them back down (like crabs in a bucket).
I suppose that’s why the ancient traditions say that determination and resolve are needed for this kind of internal alchemy.
Very wise attitude
Thank you, Katarzyna.
This is just a dumbed down version of the sedona method which is an absolutely effective and very powerful tool…
Hi Julian, see my comments above in “4) Releasing the Emotion”. I agree that the Sedona Method has value — I used it extensively for many years.
Ultimately, however, I found it to be a “cognitive” approach to emotions, which doesn’t get to the root of the emotion in the body. There’s a subtlety here that’s important.
And you may ask yourself: if the Sedona Method is such an effective and powerful tool, would you still be searching for information on repressed emotions?
The method you describe, seems very similar to the one I find works best with me. Feeling it in the body wins every time over any kind of cognitive method, apart from being able to name the emotion. Thank You
Sure thing, Helen.
Yes, while the mind can be helpful in understanding what we’re feeling; it is ill-equipped to move the emotional energy through our body.
Scott, Lester never went free using his “own” method. That is the irony of it…
That’s true, Dill. He most certainly did not.
Hi Scott, this is a brilliant article. The process you’re describing to transmute negative emotion is exactly what I’ve experienced in a healing resort in Bali during a treatment with a therapist and it indeed transforms us. I’m suppressing most of the time my emotions and end up in addictive behaviours like eating unhealthy food (especially sugar), over using social media, watching TV series (in the past I even used drugs to numb myself) etc. Now I’m going through a hard time in my life and last evening I tried to follow your process, but I didn’t reach rock bottom of my pain like I did in Bali and of course I didn’t experience the positive energy and power afterwards. I believe what’s stopping me from going deep into my emotions is a mix of being scared of pain/ negative emotions and over thinking it. It was also challenging to figure out what emotion I’m experiencing and to feel my body, notice where the emotion feels in the body. Could you please help me with your opinion on what I’ve just shared and some advice? If I practice this long enough will I be able to experience myself what the therapist in Bali managed to facilitate for me? Thanks a million!
Hi Alexandra,
Chances are that you’re a “thinking type.” Meaning your dominant way of processing information is in your head (with your thoughts), which implies that feelings are your “inferior function” or weakest way of processing internal data.
When this is the case, it’s important to find ways to develop body awareness first as this will improve your ability to detect emotional energy.
There are various approaches to this. See my guide to Zhan Zhuang for one approach:
https://scottjeffrey.com/zhan-zhuang/
Also, our collective orientation toward negative emotions is to avoid them, which is why we have all our poor habits. Unfortunately, there’s no way around this discomfort accept by going through it.
When you can tap into the origin or original time when you experienced the emotion, it often triggers the emotion viscerally within your body.
Thanks so much for taking the time to answer and help me. I’ll definitively have a look into the Zhan Zhuang approach and come back with a feedback. I definitively tend to over think and over use my rational function, probably as another method to avoid my feelings. The interesting thing is that my first and second cognitive functions are emotions and sensations, and the last two are the rational mind and intuition. But when I was a child I learned to ignore my feelings and completely shut down in front of aggressive behaviour, critising and blame, which I now do to myself. I’ll keep on following your steps to experience and transform my negative feelings. Your articles are brilliant. Thank you once again.
Sure thing, Alexandra. The first key is to begin sinking your mind into your body. This will also help reduce the common pattern of over-thinking.
Alexandra, thank you for sharing! You’ve expressed so well the childhood emotional baggage/trauma that in my case led me to seek more insights for actually dealing with it to hopefully ease much of the dis-ease I’ve been carrying around for over half a century. I’m tired, emotionally drained, but like you, have a vibrant life in my mind! I woke up this morning with a memory of “spilled milk” events from childhood that still haunt me. Thankfully I’m becoming more aware of their toll, and recognize that I’m ready to process it and help myself truly heal. As Jeffrey mentioned in reply, “sinking your mind into your body”… that has been a difficult thing for me to do, but I feel more at ease now after reading all of this. Thank you, Jeffrey. And thank you, Alexandra, for stepping out of your comfort zone to express yourself so wonderfully. It’s enlightening and edifying.
Hi Christian, so happy to hear my words helped you somehow. Zhan Zhuang helped me, but what made a big transformation was going into a healing retreat where I did a lot of emotional and trauma release through movement, dancing, shaking, and TRE. Now I do all of these at home and it really, really helps. Totally recommend it! At least some TRE sessions with a professional and then you can do it at home. Lots of love,
Alexandra
I suppose I often wonder what it means to ‘integrate’ emotions. Can simply ‘feeling’ the emotion from a negative event take the sting out of its tail and let you move on? It sounds almost too good to be true…
In a way, yes, Icy.
When an emotion gets triggered by an event, expressing and feeling the emotion will reduce its charge. It can go through you like a wave and then dissipate.
The challenge for many of us is that we’ve become so disconnected or numb to these emotional waves. So instead of letting them pass through us, we store them in our body. (Then they can become more like tidal waves in the future.)
Plus, in a “civilized society,” it’s very confusing. People say one thing but mean another. Manipulation has become a standard form of communication. We act nice while being nasty, etc.
And so often times, we don’t know what’s happening or how we’re actually feeling in the moment. In this regard, knowing what you really feel is half the battle.
Hey Scott,
First off, thank you for all of your free articles. I have a psych degree and I have learned so much! Your articles are extremely helpful, this one in particular.
I started having a stress episode two months ago. The first in five years. I thought I was doing everything right. I realized after the episode began that I had become numb to all my emotions and it seemed like I had repressed emotions. I was so frustrated because I was accomplished at handling my thoughts but my emotions just wouldn’t get in line. I had tried expressing, suppressing, and repressing and none of those strategies worked. I tried acceptance but really I turned it into another way to suppress. I had read about transmuting emotions before but I never found a description on how to do it. With that being said, thank you for the easy instructions. I’ve noticed that using your approach I don’t ever feel the emotions evolve by just sitting with it. I usually move it around with my hands and that seems to work. I can feel it throughout my body. Am I doing something wrong? Also, I have another question. I started reading Jay Earley’s IFS book and I’m having a hard time separating repressed emotions with sub-personalities. I tend to feel better when I focus on my emotions and consciously process my emotions but when I start to explore my sub-personalities my mind quickly becomes chaotic and my emotions explode. Any suggestions? Thank you again for all your work. I have read almost every article now and I have learned so much!
Steve
Hey Steve,
Developing the sensitivity to how energy moves through your body can take time (especially if you’re a thinking type).
This practice might help you:
https://scottjeffrey.com/zhan-zhuang/
As for your second questions, you could say that ALL of our emotions stem from subpersonalities or parts.
The challenge with IFS and any form of integrative therapy is that they don’t provide sufficient instruction or understanding of the Center. And without it, there’s no way to navigating the psyche.
In IFS, they say you need to access your Self and that meditation helps. To me, this is insufficient.
If you’re subscribed to my list, I have a course called the Centering MasterWork that addresses this in detail. It’s part of my Shadow Training course package.
But for now, see: https://scottjeffrey.com/center-yourself/
Thank you for the reply! I’ll check that out because I did find the self rather elusive. The book says when you work through all you sub-personalities then the self just shows it’s self. I have noticed throughout the years though a place I go as a solace from the war sometimes going on in my mind. It would very much like to know how to access that more frequently and reliably.
The book expresses the “Western” viewpoint that stems from Carl Jung. But in this regard, I believe Jung and IFS are mistaken. You need to access the center first — or at least move towards it. Otherwise, it’s all “blending” (to use an IFS term).
That said, the more the parts get organized, the easier it is to access the Center.
Thank you so much for another brilliant article. I really appreciate it.
Sure thing, Laura. Thank you!
Having just scrolled through all the comments ( and thank you for your article ), two questions arise. How would you describe the difference between the self and the centre? The other slightly off topic but perhaps tangentially related is that I am very in body, yet actually dislike “the mindful practice” of drawing attention outside of the body, ( when reading instructions in books) but have had good experiences with it in groups. Any thoughts?
A more thorough explanation of the center can be found here:
https://scottjeffrey.com/center-yourself/
Sorry. I don’t understand your second question.
Hi. Maybe you’d be interested in the book called “Not I, not other than I” by Russel Williams. He’s very much into “being in feeling” and putting your attention to your hands as a mindfulness practice. So more “in body” than only outside sense perceptions. (If I understood your 2nd question correctly.)
Very helpful. Thank you.
You’re welcome, Jill.
Thank you so much for this. This is so helpful. Thank you for talking about unseen things like emotions that we so easily discard without understanding the sum-total of the effect it actually has on our lives
Sure thing, Magda. The more time you invest in the inner world, the more you begin to see how things like subconscious emotions, thoughts, and attitudes rule our lives — whether we’re aware of them or not.
I just love conversations like this! In my opinion probably one of the most important of these times.. Personally, I’ve discovered the power of unconditional presence as invaluable. Meaning that all is welcome, every facet belongs.
If only we knew how much power we are afforded from not just feeling, but doing so lovingly, what a different world this could be…
Thank you for being such an important voice Scott.
Glad to hear you found the conversation valuable, Ingrid.
thank you so much for this, today i realized just how annoyed i was with my friends. They pushed me around called me offensive names, embarrassed me in front of everybody by singing happy birthday even though its not my birthday and they shouted that i had a crush on someone even though i have never had a crush on anybody, and lastly i had lunch money instead of a packed lunch so they ditched me, and went to sit elsewhere. By the end of the day i was infuriated and i didn’t talk much, they said i was a ‘party pooper’ and asked “why are you mad?” This will help me release my emotions because i feel rage building up inside me and i’m afraid of what i will do once i snap.
Solena, it’s important to understand that these people aren’t your friends. And they never were.
“Friends” won’t ever do these things you mentioned. But, friends, especially at your age, are never “friends.”
By calling them “friends” you’re confusing yourself, which is something most of do in our school years.
Your rage at this mistreatment is normal, but it’s on the surface. You can accept that it’s there.
But more importantly, you were being picked on and bullied by a group of people. The core emotion here isn’t rage, but terrifying fear. That’s the emotion you want to get to if you don’t want it to store up in your body.
Hard as it is sometimes, and believe me I know from recent experience how anger and depression can warp a perspective almost into an alternate reality, I embrace the anger – I let it run it’s course, get depressed, then look for the way out because it’s there, it has to be. Ultimately, all negative experiences must be seen as positive, because of the learning that takes place, be it handling grief, pain, rejection, authority or simple something you can do nothing whatsoever to change.
Moving on is a phrase I find ridiculous – you do not “move on”. You stay where you are but with a changed mindset. You do not “move on” from the loss of a friend, a lover or a close family member. You stay engaged with that emotion and learn how to manage it’s effects.
The world you have shown me, with your own sagacity and by references to that of other writers and thinkers, has made me a child again, keen to explore a new world full of wonders. Thank you
Part of our collective challenge, Dave, is that we’ve been conditioned by the overwhelming bias of positivity. The fact is that true adulthood can not be accessed unless we let in all the negative emotions we tend to run away from.
I believe there are truly “negative” events (without positive learning experiences). The tension in us occurs when we expect or want everything to be positive. If we accept the negativity as part of the overall experience, there’s less resistance, and therefore, less suffering.
Your articles are great.It helped me understand more on the Mas low’s hierarchy period table is all about and to differentiate people who have fully reached their full potential and the ones that are still working on to reach their full potential.It is very educational and has taught me so much I as a student.Thanks
That’s great to hear, Priscilla. Thanks for commenting.
Fantastic, thank you. I’m pleased to have found your article.
Through many dreams in the night, and as I awoke this morning and worked out the content, I’ve realized I had repressed hate as a child, and most likely, all the so called vices that go with it.
I’ve had a tight gut all my life, although through inner work, over the last 4 years I now feel the energy in my gut bubbling.
I had spent my life sending out these vices as vibrations and thinking, ‘I’m the good guy and they are the bad guy, because they don’t like me.’ And why don’t they, because all I’ve ever felt is love for others, hmmm, now I see, NOT!
Of course these vibrations were picked up, and I found others didn’t like me, from childhood till now, and I didn’t know why.
The main fear I could see behind my suppressions, repression’s hidden so deep in the unconscious was the fear of hell.
Brought up a Catholic my mum used to say, ‘If you hate anyone you will rot in hells fire’!
In fact hells fire, the police, jail, and the going to the a catholic priest, were threats to eliminate what was thought bad behavior.
I think now it was more my vibrations that caused her disapproval of me. She most like didn’t know why she behaved as she did.
This morning I went in search of understanding and found your very informative writings, so thank you very much!
It is going to help me loads on my journey to emotional freedom. ?❤️
Sure thing, Rosie. Sounds like you’ve begun to get to know your shadow.
https://scottjeffrey.com/shadow-work/
Thanks for sharing your experiences.
So easiliy spoken.. I like the way you explain stuff ?
Thank you!
Very insightful….. Hoping to find my way soon
Your way is usually right in front of you. Return to your body and you’ll find it.
Scott, I appreciate this article. I love this topic. Emotions and feelings are so complex, aren’t they!!? Especially expressing them! I feel it’s an art form.
Currently, I am looking for ways to verbally express emotions, difficult emotions (sometimes even with “difficult people” =P ). I find myself sometimes getting sucked into a deflection technique, or going down a rabbit hole that then leads me into a conversation or situation (or even argument.) And that whole experience sucks!
Right now, I really want to focus on working on my own voice and vulnerability and expressing of emotions (and desires/wants/fears/dislikes/etc.) I have heard a few phrases like “thanks for sharing that with me, you’ve given me a few things to think about” … something along these lines…or “that’s interesting, thanks for telling me how you feel.” I know having a “tool kit” of phrases can seem robotic or inauthentic or generic, but in some settings and situations, this skill can be REALLY handy…!
Also, I find many of us have a hard time vulnerably saying things that leave us open to rejection or exposing our fears, so not only am I searching for different ways to handle something professionally (kinda like the phrases above), but I’m also looking for tips and suggestions on how to have those more difficult talks with people we are close with.
So I was wondering if you have any personal suggestions, or know of any resources where I can find more information and “expertise” on how to verbally express ourselves? Especially during times of conflict?
Any insight, advice, or direction you could point me in would be VERY much appreciated!!! Thanks!
And keep up all your hard work! Looks like you’re reaching a lot of people :) Good job!
Wittney,
Early in my career, I was more focused on communication strategies and language. Although these tools have great value in business and in a professional context, I personally see little value in them in terms of relating to others and self-expression.
Why? Because it’s all-too-easy to say “I love you” while really meaning “I hate you.” Or say “thank you” while meaning, “F— you.”
You see, the more you get to know your shadow, the more you see that self-expression is best done in front of a mirror behind closed doors.
The problem we mainly have in communication with others is incongruencies. We THINK one way (based on self-identity) while we FEEL another way (based on our unrecognized shadow).
Even in the emotional intelligence literature, the chief suggestion is to cultivate self-awareness. Cultivating self-awareness and integrating your shadow is the direct route to authenticity, but it’s likely going to be very different than most people think.
All of our communication is ultimately taking place at the level of the unconscious. So getting to know what’s going on “below the surface” is most instructive.
Wow. Thank you so much for your articles. I have been looking for such a thing for quite a while now. I enjoy the way you write. It is really simple yet apt and goes deep into the problem. And especially follows with ways how to actually deal with it. Really helpful. Thank you so much.
That’s wonderful to hear, Tereza. Thank you for your comments.
Thanks Scott for this elaborate article. It pretty much covers all the points.
Thank you
The process of identifying negative emotions and work on releasing them is quite interesting. I did the exercise and I have had to stop myself from attributing those emotions to someone else and instead search deeply what they are and where they are coming from.
That’s common, Zinzi, especially if you’re a mind-oriented person (which most of us in the modern world seem to be). It’s helpful to find ways to sink and root your awareness in your body before using this method. Over time, it gets easier.
Wonderful and powerful insight from your article. Im grateful for the knowledge you have impacted.
Sure thing, Raymond. Thank you for your comments.
Very informative and refreshing article, especially on repressed denied feelings equated with negative when as the brilliant Alan Watts states and explains, there are no right or wrong feelings, all are part of the divine, to be acknowledged though not necessarily acted upon. I am finding it difficult accepting, expressing repressed rage and hatred surfaced in a current repetition of past trauma. It is producing a physical sensation I’m my body in the form of constant heartburn because I do not know how to release it. I think dreams help and bring release if we cannot do this on a mindful and conscious level. For example, I a dream I kill my Father and show someone the knife wound inflicted. I am also tired of being playing the Responsible programmed child. The BBC have a drama of the same title, rage and the effects of both witnessing and receiving abusive violence.
I have to admit, I do not like what I am feeling, but have to find a way to deal with it before it makes me ill, I think perhaps the opposite can sometimes afford an antidote, i.e. what was denied to us rather than what we have denied or repressed. In my case this was play, lightness, joy as everything can be so heavy and serious in dysfunctional families. I am now 63 as still affected by all this. In many ways, I found denial easier. Thank you for the article to help find a way through. I have missed the download shadow reading, so hope to obtain. Grateful thanks,
These emotions are stored in the body in the form of energy frequencies/information. So one effective mode for releasing this energy (especially when you’re conscious of the source of it) is to remove it energetically. The challenge with this modality is that it usually requires a certain level of body-mind connection and sensitivity. For example, you would need to be able to feel where the rage is residing within you and then direct it outward. There are energetic practices called Jin Dao that help you purge this type of energy. And Neigong practices for awakening the energy body.
Alternatively, you can experiment with trauma release exercises. The idea is to induce shaking that helps move the negative energy through you.
But it’s also worth noting that according to various mythologies, women and men have different ways of healing emotional wounds.
Healing the feminine generally requires more stillness in solitude. See Robert Johnson’s “The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden” for more on this topic.
I would like to order your book. It is what I am dealing now in my private life. I need a tool to keep me going. Alone, I can not continuing to function in a normal level. Thank you! Appreciated your literature.
Marie Sneed
I’m not sure what book you’re referring to, Marie. The above guide is self-contained.
This is a wonderful article. It can be so easy to be pulled back into the wave of emotions without consistent practice. I have found that observation of this quotidian really helps towards the healing process.This literature is just as helpful as learning at the experiential level. Thank you.
Thanks for the comments, Nita. Yes, it is quite easy to get pulled into waves of emotions — sometimes even with consistent practice. The difference is that with practice, you catch the wave more quickly and eventually can even slow the wave down.
Thank you for this great article, it gives me a lot more clarity as someone that has always regarded emotions as being for the weak and have shut my once quite emotional self down I guess. This because of a handful of trauma’s during both my childhood and adolescence.
Since one of my closest friends passed away, I’ve been having panic attacks, ever since I started hyperventilating and thinking/feeling like I would die. I’ve had many symptoms which I’ve accepted over a few months and almost entirely ‘got rid off’. What still remains almost 24/7 for the last year is taking manual control of my breathing as it feels like I’m suffocating. Unfortunately this led to chronic hyperventilation but with a tight grip on not letting it escalate like a year ago. I’ve been told it might have been due to repressed sadness or even anger. But I can’t relax and really feel it and therefore can’t transmute it, it seems. Do you think it is indeed repressed sadness/anger and if so, or not so, could you give me some advice on how to heal it? Whenever I try to think about what might have caused it, my mind draws a blank and any type of emotion gets quickly shut off by my mind. It’s taking every bit of joy and confidence out of my life.
Kind regards,
Dennis
Hi Dennis,
The main thing most people do incorrectly in relation to their breathing is that they try to control it. Most breathing exercises actually create more tension because of this.
The key is to allow yourself to witness the act of breathing without influencing it. Pay attention to what happens when you inhale. As you allow the breathing to occur without conscious influence, you’ll find that the breath will sink further and further down into your body (toward your lower torso).
When this occurs, the hyperventilation will likely cease and you may spontaneously understand what’s behind it.
Wow.
Thanks Scott, I found your guidelines to be extremely helpful and, somewhat strangely, I found many parallels in my own experience as a yoga student & teacher. Centering down & using the breath & internal locks in yoga, transmute all energy (ultimately) into compassion, empathy & unconditional love, but it takes a TON of practice for most and, yes, there can be pain ?, but it is worth the effort.
You’re welcome, Steve. Glad to hear that you found the guide helpful.
I don’t think who ever thought up these ideas has ever had to deal with these emotions and are simply academic.
Apparently, you haven’t read the other 100 comments. It’s an experiential process.
Are the ideas proven to work, or did someone just decide to do that?
Did you try test them out for yourself, Fred? Or is your inner skeptic so strong that you need to be critical to avoid engaging in the process?
Excellent, thorough article. For which, many thanks! It mirrors what I have been reading about the concept of being with strong feelings in Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” — as much as dealing with the emotion it clarifies how we can train our mind to be able to accept and be with emotions rather than racing from r suppressing them. Your article is a practical extension of that concept.
Yes, Neil. Tibetan Buddhist psychology works with emotions directly in a similar way.
Thank you, recently I come to discover that I have a great amount of rage that hide below the surface of a calm and wise person. I can trigger back to some childhood events and adult time disappointment. I am so excited to try your step to release that energy because I believe it kept me far from feeling happy I mean really happy from my heart, and I constantly have headache and pain in my neck and shoulders.
Getting to know your shadow, Huda, will be helpful in this regard.
The steps above can be helpful, but until you resolve the root issues, the rage will likely keep cycling back in.
Hey Scott! First things first, great article, well done! Then I would like to share my experience and ask for your opinion about rage. Last year I attended a meditation retreat of Vipassana as taught by Goenka. I still consider the experience it-self one of the most valuable of my life, since I had many insights and learned an effective meditation technique on how to face my emotions with equanimity (something similar to what you refer to as being in the center) scanning the body from head to feet, and concentrating on the various sensations (something similar to what you wrote in this article). By the way, apart from the benefits, the side effect of the spiritual trap came along. Thanks to some sources (above all your guide on spiritual awakening) I realized that the spiritual ego was becoming inflated. “I found the way” I kept telling my self. Thanks to your guides and other readings I am discovering that there is not such thing as “the way”, rather the “own way” which is unique and intrinsic in the individual. I am still meditating using that technique but less blindly. By the way right now I came across a very interesting book which is “Radical Honesty”, which is literally shaping in an interesting way my relationship with my friends. In his book the author states that we must for our own sake express our rage. According to him, being aware of the emotion is not enough, you must express it. I have to admit that I felt very well in expressing my rage, also for the fact that I have always been an agreeable and “good” and “spiritual” guy (especially after vipassana). Telling the truth (about my rage) in this moment is one the things that made me realize of the presence of my shadow (I felt alive after those conversations). In your guide (about the shadow) you mentioned the importance of being honest with one self and not with the others, so I would like to know what you think about this point. Further more, in this guide I found an hint when you say that expressing the emotions is effective as long as you do not lose control (i.e your center). The author in Radical Honesty seems to say in his book that is not enough to say that you are angry, you must express your anger as well,through the tone of voice and choice of words. Do you agree with this point? According to you is possible to stay centered expressing yourself angrily, allowing it and accepting it? Or expressing yourself in this way necessarily mean that you lost your center and you are feeding on the emotion? Thanks Scott in advance!
Hi Matteo,
So this one is a little tricky as it depends on the context.
I believe what I said in the shadow guide, is that if you go around expressing your rage to other, you’ll find that you’ve either “hurt” a lot of people, made a lot of enemies, or both.
So I don’t think it’s advisable to go around expressing your anger and rage at everyone you interact with.
First, do you know that your rage is valid? That is, is the other person responsible? Are you certain? If you’re not certain, and you blast them with your rage, you’re doing damage to another.
Second, are you aware of any psychological games being played? Many times, our rage is evoked by the manipulator archetype in another. It’s a mind game that the other person may be playing without being conscious of it. And if you confront the person about it directly, you’ll get denial and redirection.
Third, can you regulate the emotion? For many of us, if we’ve repressed our rage for most of our lives and we start becoming conscious of it, expressing it — in some way — is necessary, at least for a period of time.
Fourth, what’s the nature of relationship? Is it important or can you let it go? That is, are you sure you want to give your energy?
So the context of the situation is very important, and it’s not always obvious.
To your other question, ultimately, if you’re in rage, you’re generally out of Center. The rage is a result of your conscious personality getting offended, indignant, wronged, etc.
When you’re in the Center, the conscious personality isn’t in the driver’s seat. And in this Center, we can receive insults, for example, with equanimity.
Matteo,
I reflected on what you shared from that book about expressing rage (which I haven’t read).
If you’re accurately summarizing the core message of that book, then I would have to disagree with the author.
Here’s why: we’re almost always reacting to our past, not the present.
That is, when someone evokes rage in us in the present, it’s most often because it’s triggering something that wasn’t processed from our childhood (usually related to one of our parents or siblings).
So expressing your rage to someone in the present when you’re unconscious to your past will provide limited value. It might make you feel better (make your ego feel better), but the underlying issue will still remain. So the pattern will only cycle back again.
Hey Scott! The summary is not of the book but of a single chapter, and I am pretty sure to have summarized the core message of that chapter which is about rage, in relation to telling the truth (about the fact of being angry)
By the way after few months of reflection I partially agree with you. Expressing rage means not being in the center. I agree with a common theme in your guides about shadow state which can be summarized in passive-aggressive behaviors. The solution is being in the center and so being assertive. Expressing rage means being aggressive. The difficulty is trying to transmute the energy of anger in assertiveness.
I also agree when you say that when we are angry it is because the situation/person/problem triggers something that was not processed from childhood.
By the way, I came to the conclusion that is ALWAYS very important to speak out, and say the truth. The context/situation/person can influence the modality but not the truth, so that the state of your being in that moment. If you are angry you can say/must say it trying to be as calm as possible. I agree with the author of the book that is important to be honest, I don’t agree with him regarding the modality. But why do I say that is important to speak out? For the sake of a sound Ego development (especially for the readers like me who are young). You need to fight to defend your point of view, your opinions. But at the same time you need to have that psychological distance from them (and here comes into play the Magician/awareness that you described in the other guides, and in general the awareness you not you Ego and its point of view).
To summarize, if you are angry is not the other person’s fault, but it is a sign that you have some work to do with your self (shadow work, I presume). But saying it to him/her is equally important since you would damage your Ego, otherwise. What is a damaged Ego? In my opinion, is a non formed ego, a rickety one .
The process o telling the truth means straining your Ego, going out of the comfort zone, shooting it in the head sometimes.But there is always certainty that a new Ego will result from that the experience, ready for new discoveries and confrontations, new death and rebirth in a cycle which never ends.
Thank you Scott, in advance for you answers! You really help me putting my thoughts on paper, and trying to form clear ideas about reality.
Matteo,
I never suggested that you shouldn’t speak up for yourself.
If you see something going on that requires your voice, it’s generally advisable to use it. (You’re addressing the issue of passivity versus assertiveness, which is a different topic.)
The challenge is that often times when we’re enraged, we don’t know exactly why.
So the main point is to have the insight and understanding of what’s going on before you “speak up.”
Otherwise, it’s easy for things to spiral out of control.
Thank you Scott for your answer.
I would like to add a remark with respect to what you wrote about letting go. I agree with you that sometimes letting go can be misleading. You try to let go, but you do no know what your clinging on. Or you may develop a resistance somewhere else.
In my personal experience I found letting go not suitable for me. In the sense that when a negative emotion arises I find very difficult to let it go. It is like a develop an aversion to that emotion. I find much more powerful acceptance and awareness. If those negative emotions stay, I’m ok with it. If they go I’m ok with it, as well . I accept it. On the contrary when I try to let it go it is like if I am judging it. It is like implying that It is not good to experience it. What you wrote is entirely based on acceptance and awareness. I found it very valuable. So thank you sharing!
Great timing to have received this article. I have noticed recently that I have a habit of spreading emotions. Particularly negative ones. For example, I had a pretty depressing conversation with my mother. It sparked a lot of feelings of betrayel and anger. I didn’t know what to do with these potent feelings and kept wanting to talk to someone about them. However, when I discussed what had happened I felt myself purging my emotions onto someone else, just as my mother had done to me. I passed the negativity along. In my mind, I think I was hoping to get self-validation from the person. Like poor me, she’s gone through a lot, she doesn’t deserve to feel that way. Almost like I was hoping to be rescued. This is a reoccurring theme for how I handle my emotions. The truth is that I felt shittier after talking to someone because then I felt guilt and shame for spreading the negative emotions. It’s just that I need to express these emotions. Thank you for the article, I will find a better outlet for handling my emotions and allowing myself to validate my own feelings. Thanks again!
What you just described, Mandy, is what virtually everyone does with their negative emotions — dumps them onto others.
But generally, this happens unconsciously and therefore without shame.
When you’re conscious of your behavior, it can evoke your conscience, which can assist you in self-regulation in the future (because feeling real shame stings).
The reality is that we wouldn’t have such a “socially-oriented” society if more people were truly aware of how their emotions work. It takes a great deal of time and energy to process this stuff.
Thank you so much for your articles. They’re really helpful.
You’re welcome, Nyasha.
I have been diagnosed with chronic clinical IBD- C, D and Varicocele. It’s badly affecting my quality of life, relationship, career and I am just in my 20s.
Dr. Sarno’s and Steve Ozanich’s (The Great Pain Deception) work made me realize the main cause of it was tremendous emotional repression on each and every aspect of my life from childhood.
I think my,
1) Gut got affected because I have been gulping down literally everything to show how masculine I am. Because from childhood I have been told to “Man Up”. Now I realize there was nothing wrong with me, I am simply Introvert.
2) Varicocele, as my Doctor said was by oxidative stress. Whenever, if got an erection which was most of the time by media these days, I use to think that it is wrong and control it to the point of BlueBalls. Regularly blue-balling and wearing lose underpants (Need to cover my body by loose clothing because of Body Shame) plus chronic stress is a recipe for varicocele. All this because I have brought up with the thinking that Sex is a Sin. Reproductive parts are sin, etc.
My Question:
I have tried various healing methods from diet, excercises, yoga, surgery, for a long time before giving up. Nothing worked. So, have started Qi gong. Recently I came across “Damo Mitchell’s, A Comprehensive Guide to Nei Gong” which was referenced in your “Sexual Transmutation” article.
Is the book enough to start my physical healing journey? can you recommend something for energy healing through Qi gong or anything about energy physical healing? (I am not asking for a quick fix here, I understand there can be no physical healing without internal healing, and I am going to read the book anyways)
Over time, I’ve learned the benefits of approaching problems like these from multiple dimensions — biochemical, emotional, psychological, mental, etc.
Gut issues are incredibly common nowadays. There are tons of environmental factors like GMOs, geoengineering, etc. I personally believe that antibiotics taken during childhood is a chief cause of the problem. You might look into ways to repair your gut with specific foods and learn what foods to stay away from.
It’s also helpful to address the emotional dimension. If you’re holding shame (from religious programming, for example) or rage and are avoiding looking at their source (which most often relates to our parents), this resistance can block healing.
Psychologically, most of us have a part that’s a hypochondriac. It loves medical labels and being diagnosed; it feeds on the attention it gets from it. Illnesses and problems are a badge of honor for it. When we’re not conscious of this part, we’re unaware that a part of us is holding on to these labels and identifying with them (making it difficult to move beyond them).
In terms of your actual question about Nei Gong, I can’t really say for certain. My guess is that there are more specific forms of medical qigong that may be more effective for this. Also, more vigorous Dao Yin-style exercises may be helpful as well.
Thanks Scott you are a genius.
Hey Scott,
thank you for the majestic value you share with yuor articles and also here in the comments.
I’ve been following you for a while, but only recently I found this guide.
I want to share my experience and my journey with self-healing.
I suffered from bullying in middle and high school, this led me to self-esteem problems, with women and to follow “success” as social revenge. Luckily I’m still young and was able to get back on track quickly and get good internal and external results.
But I have never faced those episodes: both because I have very few memories of those years, and because in those years I went to psychologists but I mistakenly considered them ignorant and now I don’t know how much sense a talk therapy would make.
My body probably hasn’t gotten over the past yet (I don’t know if those episodes or other)
I can feel sensations of tension in some particular areas of the body: some muscles are tense, even if I set an alarm every x minutes to remind myself to relax; 2 cm under the sternum, in the “solar plexum”; sometimes I have a hoarse voice, initially I thought it was related to food, but it changes according to the emotions I feel.
I started to investigate the relationship between the body and our emotions starting from the work of Gabor Mate, so I landed on different disciplines: Yoga (which talks about the chakra system), Taoism with meridians, the “Emotion Code” technique, David Hawkins’s Letting Go method, David Berceli ‘s TRE ..
The truth is that I haven’t explored all these disciplines yet (and after your article I don’t think there is a need to do it), I just conducted a long research work.
Lately I came across some Mantak Chia courses, where the approach is similar to the one you described in the article, except that you review the emotions contained in the individual organs. I’d like to know what you think of his Taoist approach. I’ve been thinking about letting it go since I read your dislike of his “stilling the Jing” method. Is there anything good about him?
There is an error: “stilling the Jing” is actually the method you suggest in contrast of Chia’s one.
Hey Claudio,
It sounds like you’re well on your way. The fact that you already have awareness of areas of tension in your body is a positive sign.
I don’t like making any blank statements about another person’s work. I’ve derived some benefits from bits and pieces of Mantak Chia’s material when I first become interested in Taoist practices.
It sounds like you’re referring to the Six Healing Sounds that are used to tune individual organs for health. I do agree with this model as I’ve used the Six Healing Sounds for many years.
However, there are many different forms of the Six Healing Sounds. And although I did experiment with the set Mantak Chia presents, I found other forms of it that were more potent and effective. The key is that when you’re using a particular sound with a specific movement, the related organ (or region) should gently vibrate.
The Six Healing Sounds are usually part of “medical qigong” and it can be used to help maintain overall physical health.
The limitation of this technique (similar to some of the others you mentioned) is that you’re not building any consciousness by using it. That is, you’re not learning from the emotion to resolve the original trauma. As such, in my opinion and experience, these sounds can be used more for “maintenance” than for “healing.”
Also, if you have a chronic issue with a specific organ — for example, the lungs — you can use the lung sound with greater frequency to help improve the functioning of that organ.
Thanks for the quick reply, your free dedication to this site is a great source of inspiration
I’ll try not to fry my brain with all this theory available and start applying right away
Great article Scott, I have difficulty understanding these passages
-“And with these emotions, you’ll often see images and memories (perhaps from childhood) where you originally experienced these emotions.”
I have understood that this is the key part of trasmuting emotions. What if we don’t remember them? How can we know if these emotions are perhaps linked to the future?
-“While consciously breathing, observe how your sensorial and feeling experience changes as the emotional energy moves through you.”
So just observing this sensation leads to release the negative emotions?
this is another matter but I think this article has answered the question that I have been asking myself for a while, even if I am not yet convinced: “how can we feel emotions if we are not thinking about it right now? for example how can I feel anxious about the project to be finished if I’m now reading a book? ”
Thanks Scott
Hi Katia,
“I have understood that this is the key part of transmuting emotions. What if we don’t remember them? How can we know if these emotions are perhaps linked to the future?”
Yes, this is the challenge. And this guide doesn’t delve deeply enough into this complex process. But the idea is that the more you learn to “hold to your Center” — doing what the ancient Buddhists called “Stopping and seeing” — the original event tends to come into consciousness (when you’re relaxed and open). There’s a natural “process of self-reflection” that unfolds.
“So just observing this sensation leads to release the negative emotions?”
Not so much as releasing the emotion as allowing it to move through you (instead of getting stuck in your energetic body).
“how can we feel emotions if we are not thinking about it right now? for example how can I feel anxious about the project to be finished if I’m now reading a book? ”
Thinking and feeling are two different functions or ways of processing information. The average person tends to rely on one of these functions at the expense of the other. But both functions are providing information simultaneously. For example, it’s quite easy to feel anxiety about a project while you’re reading a book. Whether or not you’re conscious of the anxiety is another matter.
If thinking is at the forefront (what Jung called the Superior function), then feelings tend to be subconscious (inferior function). Or vice versa.
The entire work of becoming more integrated is learning how to access thinking, feeling, and sensing together.
Hi Scott, Thank you for all these fantastic guides! Really helpful, and well explained. Thank you for sharing ?
You’re welcome, Gladys.
This article was extremely helpful in helping me to consciously identify what my body and soul were trying to merge together and report back to me. This is also a very helpful piece of information to use on myself as well as my clients. Much gratitude to the person who took the time out to put this together.
J.J CA
Glad you found the article helpful, Jessica.
Very eye opening article. I am seeing myself and where I am at and realizing what is happening to me as well as understanding behavior. Indeed a lot of clarity has been brought home.
What I had just read is overwhelming. Like with anything else you mentioned only the tip of the iceberg. Everyone’s background is different. You don’t even mention insecure attachment, Parentification, triangulation, or Trauma. The abuse some of us had to endure is incomprehensible. The toughest thing is to find help. I feel a lot of emotional pain. The health care system doesn’t want to pay for the right kind of help. Medicare is such a joke. So is my family doctor who suggested a outpatient mental health facility. Whei called them the phone number was disconnected. I found the correct number and was told to leave a message. What a JOKE! This is how are society takes pride in helping a person. So good luck with all the mumble jumble dialogue.
Chuck,
Perhaps you came to this website in error. This website is for those who are interested in self-leadership.
Everyone has emotional trauma of one kind or another. The question is: what are you going to do about it? If you’re seeking help in the form of doctors and even therapists, it’s a sign that you’re searching for answers outside of yourself. Self-leadership is about reclaiming authority within oneself and finding methods you can apply that bring about results for yourself.
The above article provides a simple step-by-step method that anyone can use. Will it resolve all of your trauma? Of course not. Thinking that an article or another person can accomplish that is an idea born from ignorance.
Instead, it’s about making small changes each day and developing your consciousness. Dialogue by itself is ineffective. And complaining serves no useful function either; it simply expends your energy that can be applied elsewhere.
Thanks for this article Scott. It appears to describe Internal Family Systems. Are you aware of that modality? I use it a a coach (carefully, and within scope of practice) and it is incredibly effective and empowering. Are you aware of IFS?
Hi Sophia,
Yes, I’m very aware of IFS. Schwartz’s IFS is a more structured form of Jung’s active imagination process. I refer to both processes in my shadow training course.
But this guide isn’t really describing IFS. You’ll probably see more similarities to IFS on this guide:
https://scottjeffrey.com/archetypes-psychology/
Apologies, should have dug around a bit more! Great that you know (and have done) IFS. The concept of “Self” in IFS is very different from Jung’s concept. This can be confusing, because the term is the same. Dick Schwartz apparently did not know much Jungian psychology when creating IFS in the 1980s – it’s fascinating how he developed IFS independently. Thanks for all your work, it is just staggering what you have accomplished. Congratulations.
Yes, it’s an interesting story of how Dick came to develop it. And I have heard Dick and others in IFS say that the concept of the Self is very different than Jung’s concept. The challenge is that this isn’t accurate.
Hi Scott
I have trouble grasping the way forward with a considerable amount of repressed anger and rage. I can identify the casual chain of having arrived at this situation. My instinct is to scream, shout and destroy things physically but none of these will sait the frustrations (it seems silly, not constructive). Interestingly people seem to refer to anger as a ‘motivator’ or energiser to change past or current wrongs. Personally speaking I feel it incredibly deenergising and demotivating.
Hi George,
It’s less about the emotion itself; more about our orientation toward the emotion.
Anger is draining if you feed it; less so when you observe it.
Sometimes screaming, shouting, or even using a heavy-weight punching bag is a necessary outlet for rage (especially for men). Sometimes, we need to take release the valve to reduce the pressure that’s building up in our system. But as you’ve noticed, it’s not a long-term solution.
There’s no simple shortcut that I’m aware of for this process. It’s about developing more consciousness, becoming aware of the source of our anger, and learning how to avoid holding on to it. Over time, with more inner work, there are fewer things that hook us and as such, there are fewer emotional triggers.
Very helpful. A question I have – as most people have a busy lifestyle, how long would you advise meditating for if one was to keep it as a daily practice?
Thanks again for the articles!
Everything is different, so it’s difficult to provide a “one-size-fits-all” answer.
That said, meditate as much as you can OR as much as you need. If you’re meditating correctly, you’ll begin to notice the difference between days when you’re actively meditating versus when you don’t.
If you’re just starting out, it’s advisable to meditate for a short amount of time to avoid creating resistance. Maybe 5 – 10 minutes to start. Then, build to 20+ minutes.
For many people, it’s best to meditate in shorter bursts multiple times a day instead of one longer session.
Thank you Scott! Look forward to the next email!
I marvel at the time and energy you have invested in journeying within and exploring the infinite possibilities of human mind and heart. Many thanks for making such sustained efforts!
Thank you for the feedback, Benny.
hey Scott, thank you for this well made article:)I’d like to clarify better, because I think I have my ideas a little confused. From what I understand repressed emotions are stored in our unconscious / subconscious that is directly connected to our body or, even better, corresponds to our body itself, as stated by Dr. Candace Pert. We can access our unconscious and “heal” it with a bodily approach with practices such as qi gong, energy healing, on a mental level with hypnotherapy or with body and mind approaches such as the one you just described. Is that right? I’d also like to ask you, is working on our repressed emotions a priority over the work of the archetype? Because the understanding of our attitudes, such as anger attacks, are caused by past traumas and understanding them, reasoning about them and exposing them to someone else is not enough. I hope I haven’t made too much confusion :D
Clara,
To answer your first question, it’s not really either-or. The above method is useful when you have already brought the emotion to some level of consciousness/awareness. But emotions stored in the body are essentially stagnant energy that we are not conscious of. As such, using body/energetic methods like qigong in conjunction with methods like what’s highlight above is advisable.
In terms of your second question: archetypes are activated by emotions. Working with our emotions directly helps develop emotional intelligence and self-regulation. Working with archetypes helps increase and expand one’s consciousness. Both processes rely on inner observation, so it’s a function of where you’re directing your attention. In terms of which is a priority, I can’t really answer this because it depends on the individual — their disposition, trauma, propensities, and desired results. The foundational skill for both avenues is self-observation, so I suppose that would be the priority.
thank you Scott, your ability to summarise is inimitable, your guides are a point of reference in this challenging period.
While I’m at it, I’d also like to ask you this. Since most of our behaviour is dictated by our unconscious, how can we change our perception of reality, our beliefs, our emotional reaction to the vicissitudes of life if understanding them on a conscious level is not enough? Is it possible to do this without external help? I think that feeling your body and the perception you have on an energetic level is already a lot, but not enough. It would be lovely if you could share with me some of your guidance or resources to better understand this topic :)
Clara,
True inner work is about making the unconscious conscious. It’s not about making ourselves feel better or elevating our egos. Instead, you simply learn to observe yourself carefully:
– Why am I doing this?
– What do I really feel right now?
– Do I really want this or do I just ‘think’ I do?
But before this line of inquiry becomes useful, one must first stabilize their mind to the point where they can detect and observe their own self-deception. Most people remain unconscious because they don’t realize they are deceiving themselves, continuously and throughout each day.
First, our parents, family, and teachers lie to us. Then, we learn how to lie to ourselves. And all of this occurs before we know what’s happening. So to reverse this process requires directing one’s attention inward and observing oneself from the position of neutrality (instead of judgment).
thank you again for the reply.
it’s a long journey, but thankfully I’m not in a hurry. I feel like I should ponder on the time I spend on self inquiry. Since I can’t do ‘nothing’, because I don’t have the infamous vaccine pass, I have plenty of time to think and it’s becoming distructive. By know I will apply your guides on how to center, delaying this ‘mental inquiry work’ to later on, other wise it becomes too much.
Thanks again, enjoy your weekend Scott
Wonderful article Scott. I found you while looking for a wellness retreat of some kind that would help me with this very issue…getting in touch with and processing (transmuting) repressed emotions. Do you offer a weekend retreat by chance, or is there one that you would recommend that follows your doctrine? Thank you! Kimberly –
Hi Kimberly. I don’t offer weekend retreats and nowadays I’m out of the loop on this type of thing, so I don’t have anything I can suggest to you. Personally, I don’t see the value in these types of treats. In my experience, it’s more about daily practice and the consistent application of various methods.
I’d like to ask you, what is your understanding about the traumas brought forward by past lives and our ancestors? Would it be helpful in those cases to be able to talk to our higher self so that we can better understand what lessons we need to learn in this life?
And instead, what is your understanding about energy parasites that might cause suffering that we confuse with repressed emotions. When, then, we know that the cause is much more insidious.
After coming in with certain esoteric knowledge, I sometimes feel helpless in the work I can do on myself and it’s really hard to unite the different teachings that have to do with our different bodies, physical (biological), mental, etheric, astral
I would also like to know if you have written any articles that deal with these issues, so that we can look into it further
Thank you Scott, for providing us with the tools to untangle the reality
Lisa
Lisa,
“I’d like to ask you, what is your understanding about the traumas brought forward by past lives and our ancestors? Would it be helpful in those cases to be able to talk to our higher self so that we can better understand what lessons we need to learn in this life?”
While it’s entirely possible that trauma is carried forward from past lives, ancestors, etc, I think focusing on this can muddy the waters in one’s development. When you engage in inner work, material from the past may arise spontaneously. And when it does, you confront it. If there is/was trauma from a past life, it would still likely manifest itself in persistent patterns in this current life. So the process is still the same.
As an aside, I don’t ascribe to a lot of the information provided by the “new age”. In my experience, much of this material is largely ungrounded and often driven by hidden incentives. For example, if I was an “energy worker” I might subconsciously be attracted to the idea of trauma from past lives because it would make potential clients more likely to come in for “energy clearing.” (But this doesn’t mean there isn’t potentially some truth to the concept either.)
“And instead, what is your understanding about energy parasites that might cause suffering that we confuse with repressed emotions.”
This is a broad topic and much can be said about it. But once again, it’s important to not give your power over to the idea of energy parasites where you’ll end up feeling like a victim. The ancient traditions spoke about these parasites (ghosts, jinn, archons, etc). In Taoism, they are referred to as “ghosts and monsters” that hijack the psyche because the Original Spirit is not present.
But the focus is still the same: learn how to return to your Center, stabilize the energy within yourself so you stop the energy leakage, and operate from neutrality.
I have a guide on a related topic (energy vampires): https://scottjeffrey.com/emotional-vampires/
You have been a tremendous help and support while I struggle through depression. Please know that you are saving my soul and I am extremely grateful.
While I appreciate the sentiment, Summer, please understand that only YOU can “save your own soul.” No one else has this power but that which is already within you…
… pretty much the same repeated platitudes and proposed resolutions …
ps be careful you don’t end up like Ken Wilber and Jordan Peterson with your funding mechanisms and tiresome re-capitulations of self help GURUs … just a tip !!!
You sound quite jaded, Dennis. The purpose of this website is not to be original or novel; it’s to share what I’ve found works for myself and others. In my experience, when someone is seeking originality for basic life problems, it’s because they aren’t actually applying the material in front of them. That is, they are possessed by the “Dabbler” who always seeks novelty. (Not a “tip” — just an observation.)
I think that there is a state of mind where emotions can not make serious impact on your brain or in your mind. That stage will be reached when you grow to the level of an OBSERVER of yourself. To give a comparison think of a car with very powerful engine with tremendous energy ( represent emotion- call it lower self ) and driver/ steering ( Representing the self actualized HIGHER SELF)that keenly observe the engine (Emotions) and its potential and directs emotions to where it wants to go. There is no suppression at this state of mind. The lower self happily follows and plays with the HIGHER SELF without being tied into a leash
Very well said. My internal experience is consistent with what you have described here.
Your method is basically the same as recommended.by Hawkins in his book on the subject Letting Go
This method doesn’t belong to anyone in particular. You can find a similar method in some of Lester Levenson’s old work (“Releasing”) in the 1980s as well as the book “The Power of Letting Go” by Patricia Carrington (2001). More recently, it’s also in “Integral Life Practices.”
“Repressed Anger and Rage
Repressed anger runs through most, if not all, of us. Any form of mistreatment (teasing, bullying, rejection) in childhood or the denial of basic human needs, can lead to repressed rage. Personality traits like perfectionism and a strong need for approval from others add to the mix, as does aging and the reality of our mortality.
Additionally, the tyrannical part of us can get indignant about virtually anything, fueling this rage. Repressed rage can lead to anxiety, depression, and chronic pain.”
What you have said here makes me think it’s hopeless. It would be good if you say something positive so there is incentive to try, understand and deal with this. Thank-you Brett.
My role is not to make you hopeful or hopeless. (How tyrannical can you be?) These guides provide documented methods for resolving the issues they describe.
My guess is that you’re a millennial (who else would be so entitled?) If you don’t want to “deal with this,” that’s entirely up to you. Resolving repressed emotions is a part of becoming a mature adult; no one is going to “help you” with this. No encouragement is needed. It’s a personal choice.