Are you an Effective Mentor?

2009 July 3
by Scott Jeffrey

An effective mentor is also a great leader who inspires growth and contribution in others. Effective mentors have less work-related stress and interpersonal conflict because they are empathic communicators.

Every one of us helps, advises and guides others—we are all mentors to different people at different times. But what are the keys to being an effective mentor to your team members, associates, friends and family members?

1) Be a guide, not an instructor.

An instructor tells a person what to do. A guide provides moral support, but only advises when appropriate—like when you know they are going in the wrong direction.

2) Give the mentee space.

Your role as mentor is not to keep the mentee from failing. Failure often represents the fastest avenue for growth. Your supportive presence is often all that’s required.

3) Become an active listener.

Learn to be with the mentee. Deeply listen to the emotional tone and watch body posturing and gesturing, instead of merely listening to the words. Avoid formulating a response while the mentee is explaining an issue—even if you know the answer. The mentee will be more receptive once he feels he has been heard and understood.

4) Lead by example.

You earn the respect of your mentee not by what you say or do—or even your executive rank and title—but by who you are. Your own commitment to growth will inspire a profound willingness in your mentee.

5) Let go of your narcissistic ego.

There’s simply no place for ego within the mentor’s role. Approach the mentoring role with humility and a sense of servitude to your fellow employee. Remember: It’s not about you; it’s about them.

Mentoring is a role each of us plays in supporting and uplifting the whole of our organizations and all of humanity. The more you sharpen your mentoring skills, the more effective and inspiring a leader you will be.

The Importance of the Mentor

2009 July 2
by Scott Jeffrey

Hero with a Thousand Faces - Joseph Campbell

The Greek poet Homer tells us how Odysseus left his son Telemachus in the care of his old friend Mentor. Mentor guides Telemachus in the search for his lost father and his true heritage in The Odyssey.

From this Greek mythology we get the word mentor that’s now come to be defined as “an experienced and trusted advisor.”

The importance of the mentor role is further illuminated in Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Campbell points out that the hero, reluctant to engage in the adventure, meets a protective figure with supernatural aid. This mentor archetype provides a magical amulet or sage-like advice the hero will need along the journey.

Contemporary story telling drives home Campbell’s observation:

  • Luke Skywalker is guided by Obi-Wan Kenobi to learn the ways of the Force in the original Star Wars.
  • Frodo encounters a powerful mentor in the form of Gandalf the Wizard in Lord of the Rings.
  • Morpheus instructs Neo how to operate within the Matrix.
  • And Harry Potter can always count on guiding wisdom from Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Of course, you don’t need to be a Jedi Master or a powerful wizard to be a mentor in the business world. In fact, we are all mentors to different people at different times. Every one of us helps, advises and guides others.

Who do you help guide along their adventure? Who do you look to for guidance along your journey?

The Mentor is a vital role in business and in life. Honor your mentors. Be grateful for their presence in your life.

Simultaneously, strive to be the best mentor you can be to those you have the privilege to serve.

The Psychology of Winning

2009 July 1
by Scott Jeffrey

Despite what many people believe, success is not an accident.

Successful people follow certain habits to facilitate their success. Conversely, unsuccessful people unconsciously align to limiting and often destructive habits that foster misfortune.

The Winner possesses an unusual mindset—a psychology or pattern of thinking that allows the Winner to succeed when others cannot.

The Winner’s habits breed continued success. The loser’s habits lead to perennial failure and disappointment.

Inspired by Dennis Waitley’s classic The Psychology of Winning, here is Salim Bueno’s new slide show presentation:

(As featured in the “Top Presentation of the Day” section on SlideShare.net.)

Expand Your Perspective

2009 June 30
by Scott Jeffrey

New ideas can enlarge your sphere of influence and transform your world. A single nugget of information combined with an existing concept can spark an empire. A seed planted from something you read in an enlightening book can change all the rules.  Something you notice in a magazine or see in a movie can start the launch sequence.

You may not know when the idea emerges. This mystical creature may percolate in the inner tomb of your mind, dancing aimlessly for endless hours—until it’s time to be heard.

Or the idea can collide with you, sending an electrical torpedo through your nervous system and out the top of your head. You are fully aware when these thoughts strike because they have a way of keeping you up at night (whether you want them to or not).

The application of this idea may be presently unknown, but you’re certain things will never be the same.

Either way, when this flash of insight occurs your perspective of the world is forever expanded. You can’t go back. And why would you? You can now handle problems that once appeared insurmountable. The more your life perspective grows, the easier it is to tackle new challenges.

How do you expand your perspective? Embrace a beginner’s mind. Continually ask questions that challenge your understanding. And relentlessly seek out the answers.

The universe is expanding at the speed of light. How fast are you growing?

Why Writing Journals Are Still Important

2009 June 29
by Scott Jeffrey

Why would someone choose to write with a pen and notebook when the digital age provides more convenient tools? And how would creative professionals (not just writers) benefit from using a journal?

Leather-bound journals carry their own energy. A journal beckons you from a simpler time when privileged thinkers had access to proper writing instruments like papyrus, ink and a feather.

A journal is a place to record the unusual ideas that traverse your mind, whereas a diary is used to capture your innermost thoughts about each day. A journal is more of a companion along your life journey, a sounding board and a place to record the Muse’s messages. Through your own words and those chanted by others, a journal provides you with a constant stream of inspiration.

For thinkers and writers, a filled journal is more precious than money, jewelry or other material possessions. Like a family heirloom or work of art, a filled journal cannot be replaced.

When I stay at a hotel, I always make sure my journal is not stored in my luggage. If someone wants to steal from me, let him take my bags and everything else. They don’t want a used journal filled with my ideas anyway.

Of course, those ideas captured in your journal aren’t really “yours.” They were given to you for a time and it’s up to you to determine which ideas you want to use—in your writing, your work and your life.

Computers serve an invaluable function in writing, communicating and creating. But they can never replace the mysterious quality of a leather-bound journal. At least, I hope they don’t for future writers. The journal has been a vital tool for great thinkers and writers since antiquity.

My journal of choice? The pocket size Moleskine Ruled Notebook. It’s not real leather, but it’s durable, fits in your back pocket and is still large enough to write comfortably. Apparently, Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso and Van Gogh used this moleskin-style journal. It works beautifully.

Learn to Unplug

2009 June 26
by Scott Jeffrey

Perhaps the best antidote to our digital addiction is “unplugging.”

Unplug not for a few hours, but for a few days. Power down your computer and cell phone, and turn the ringer off on your phones. If it’s okay to be unreachable when on vacation—why can’t you do it for a couple of days at home?

But what if there’s an emergency, our minds scream in protest. Someone else can handle the hypothetical emergency that’s unlikely to happen.

I can’t be totally offline for two days, we say. Yes, you can. It’s really not hard and it can be a lot of fun. Just make the rules and don’t break them.

Live and breathe for a few days in your natural surroundings. Go for walks, smell the flowers, lie in the grass and stare aimlessly at the sky, put your hands in dirt and hug a tree.

I know, this advice might sound silly. You might assume I’m a granola from Southern California and that I’ll tell you to turn vegan. I’m not and I won’t.

As Carl Sandburg noted over 50 years ago: “One of the great necessities in America is to discover creative solitude.” Try unplugging. Embrace the natural world for a few days. The digital realm will still be there when you return. I promise.

Periodic unplugging will feed your soul and nurture the creative impulse within you.

If I were your doctor, I’d prescribe a minimum of two consecutive unplugged days once every month or quarter. Again, try it. Unplug. You won’t be sorry. It will defrag your mind.

You can achieve a level of balance and perspective uncommon today. Your capacity to make effective decisions, lead others, build teams, run meetings and complete projects can increase exponentially.

Don’t believe me? You’ll have to try it first …

The Digital Addiction

2009 June 25
by Scott Jeffrey

If you closely observe your own behavior for a day, you’ll quickly come to the conclusion that a lot of time is wasted.

In a wired world, it is all too easy to spend most of your day trying to keep up with new emails, daily blogs, Twitter posts, social network updates, stock quotes, breaking news and text messages.

Looking back on the day, you’ll quickly note that you were very active. But were you productive and creative? Did you make major progress on important projects and your overall business? Did you produce your best work? Or did you merely move from one activity to the next? In today’s digital world, sometimes it’s hard to tell.

The Internet’s constant stream of data is a stimulant for many people. (I’m not referring to IAD, or Internet Addiction Disorder. There are actually recovery centers for Internet addicts and you can take a quick test to see how you score.)

The mind tracks motion and the Internet’s continuous information updates act like a drug to our nervous system. We are becoming addicted to the endless stream of specialized data, anticipating the next feed like pigeons in a cage.

No one is to blame. We’re all learning and adapting to this new ever-changing medium. The Internet provides us with a powerful communication tool and knowledge base, but we must acknowledge that we have not learned how to effectively interact with it yet.

What can you do about it?

  1. Become mindfully aware of your tendencies to be swept up by the digital current. Honest observation seems to lessen its hold.
  2. Unplug every now and then to find perspective, recharge and refuel your creative engines.
  3. Create time blocks each week to increase productivity and creative contribution.

There are numerous blessings that come from this digital revolution, but we must also become cognizant of its potential pitfalls and how these pitfalls impact our behavior and daily actions.

Five Surefire Ways To Be Uncreative

2009 June 24
by Scott Jeffrey

Creativity arises when the inner, psyche conditions and the external, environmental conditions are appropriate. Instead of focusing on how to be more creative, it’s often more rewarding to stop doing things that inadvertently hinder creativity.

Here are five things executives often do to block the creative flow.

1) Sit in front of your computer all day.

The muse is unlikely to visit while you are sitting at your desk aimlessly staring at your monitor all day. The muse has left the building, and frankly, you probably can do the same. Get up and go outside for a walk.

2) Ensure your day is full of distractions.

Information overload converges from every direction. Staying busy is easy; producing creative results is not. Too many executives sacrifice their innate creativeness in exchange for a relentless stream of demands. Block off time at work and minimize your distractions.

3) Read the same things you’ve been reading.

Reading the latest business book may not be the most valuable use of your time. You can end up chasing the latest trend while you perpetually fall behind in your industry. Be willing to explore ideas, fields, and disciplines outside your comfort zone and make connections back to what you know.

4) Get stressed and emotionally unbalanced.

Part of the challenge of living a life full of distractions is that it tends to activate the “survival self,” which shuts down access to the creative impulse. Learn to let go of negative emotions as they arise without getting “hooked” by them.

5) Assume creative ideas come from your head.

Creative geniuses throughout time have intuited that their ideas didn’t arise from themselves. Operate from a profound level of humility without the need to be the “creator” of your work.

The creative waters are within us; we need only crack the damn and witness the creative forces flowing of its own.

The Tao of Formlessness

2009 June 23
by Scott Jeffrey

bruceleeBy age nineteen, Bruce Lee had developed his own unique fighting style embodying elements of multiple forms of martial arts, boxing and weaponry. The secret to Lee’s success as a martial artist lies in his personal philosophy, not his fighting style.

Like an endless, roaring river hurdling over a rigid rock face, Lee’s Jeet Kune Do philosophy was free flowing in nature. As Lee described: Water poured into a glass becomes the glass. Water poured into a pitcher becomes the pitcher. Be formless like water.

Where most disciplines consisted of a series of techniques including specific stances, punches, kicks, blocks and combination moves, Lee’s approach didn’t commit to one particular method of action. Instead, he stayed open to the mysteries of each moment and pulled from a vast arsenal of styles as needed.

As one of the world’s greatest martial artists, Bruce Lee’s power stemmed from his ability to instantaneously access an endless stream of movements and ideas—a skill which kept him undefeated through a crowd of film-choreographed and real-life battles.  Lee said, “Jeet Kune Do utilizes all ways and is bound by none and, likewise, uses any techniques or means which serve its end.”

Agents of change adopt a similar life philosophy to Bruce Lee. You can’t create the unimaginable if your mind is confined to rigid standards and limiting belief systems.

A few daring souls seek to break the rules that bind our perception. As if through an inner calling, they allow themselves to see things differently, act on intuition, advance with certainty and laugh where others remain fearful. These are the visionaries, pioneers, explorers, inventors, adventurers, innovators and true leaders. This spirit of formlessness lies within each of us.

By staying curious, open and flexible, you can break away from limiting thought patterns and enter the realm of infinite potentiality. The universe of potentiality is like a vast ocean, yet most of us seem content to only swim near the shore. There’s nothing wrong with swimming near the shore, but if you seek nothing else, you miss out on lands of discovery.

If bound by nothing, what adventure will you embark on right now? How can you begin to embrace the way of formlessness in your everyday life?

Child Mind versus Mature Mind

2009 June 22
tags:
by Scott Jeffrey

We each possess two distinct styles of mind: the Child Mind and the Mature Mind.

Lacking attention, the child mind is easily confused and quickly distracted.

The mature mind has the capacity to focus, concentrate and work intently on a problem.

Our A.D.D.-driven world—emails, texts, IMs, Twitter and other social networks—feeds the child mind. Information overload reinforces the primitive aspects of our brain.

The “animal brain” associated with our limbic system is constantly surveying, sensing, detecting and evaluating in an effort to survive.

Notice how your eyes always go to what’s moving. Sit in an airport and your gaze is naturally averted to the streaming news on the ceiling monitors—whether you want them to or not. When we are in front of our email program—or worse yet, a Twitter application—our eyes instinctively go to the newest message. (That’s why it’s not a good idea to keep your email program or Twitter application open while you’re trying to focus on a task.)

The child mind hops from moment to moment dictated by the demands of the world.

Sitting and staring into nothingness nurtures and supports the mature mind, guided by our Higher Self. The mature mind can contemplate a single thought, holding it in mind for an extended length of time. This more evolved aspect of the mind can observe the bigger picture and can evaluate information from multiple perspectives.

You can’t feed them both minds simultaneously. At any moment you are either feeding the child mind or the mature mind. Which one will rule your destiny?