The human ego is fragile. It likes to think it’s perfect; it hates hearing that it’s not. How do you offer feedback in a way that others will be receptive to it?

Most managers and business owners use a combination of judgmental comments and personal criticism as their predominant mode of feedback. Judgment might take the form, “This report is terrible.” Personal criticism comes in the form of an attack, “You’re not good at this.” Obviously, these approaches are neither supportive nor helpful.

To overcome our innate resistance to feedback (even of the kinder, more gentle variety), the key is to help the person come to the necessary conclusions on his own and let him take ownership for improving his performance. The best way to do this is through the artful use of questions.

When you’re reviewing someone on a project, let’s say a proposal, you might ask, What’s the primary objective of the proposal? Follow-up questions might include,

• Do you feel this proposal has achieved this objective?
• Do you see places where the proposal may be improved?
• If there was a primary message that needed to be clarified, what might it be?
• What is the ideal response you’re looking for from this pitch?
• How else can you help ensure that it will receive that response?

This line of questioning allows the person to become aware of areas of improvement and take ownership for the changes.

A well-crafted question circumvents the ego’s defense system. Of course, your tone and intention in engaging in this style of dialogue is another important factor. If you come across as arrogant, all-knowing, and impatient, it doesn’t matter how well-crafted your questions are. If, however, you genuinely want to see the person succeed, he will intuit your intention and push for higher performance.

To overcome the feedback barrier: Don’t command, criticize, or give instructions. Compassion, not criticism reduces people’s ego defense systems. Ask questions with the intention of bringing out the best performance and best qualities in your people. If you do, everyone wins.

Related posts:

1. Six Principles for Effective Feedback
2. A Sign of Integrity
3. Reading with Purpose

As a consequence of the culture’s obsession with the new, however, we often read a book with the intention of getting to the next book. This objective lacks purpose and is often a waste of time.

Alternatively, we can read with more meaningful intention and purpose, asking questions to ourselves that challenge our understanding as we read. What’s your driving purpose for investing many hours into the book? What are you looking to learn? What are the questions you’d like to answer? Do you agree with the author’s assertions? Do you have enough information to develop a well-informed perspective?

Determining your objectives or purpose in advance will help you stay focused on your task instead of aimlessly flipping from page to page. If you’re seeking those nuggets of truth within the written word, you have to read mindfully and actively.

If you have a clear purpose when reading a book, you’ll be more likely to read the same book more than once. You may sometimes feel that there’s a reading scorecard—you want to check your current book off your list. But what if you only comprehended 10% of the book’s material? If you determined that the book was important enough to read in the first place, why jump to the next book when you’ve only assimilated 10%?

Of course, not every book requires such close attention. Chances are, however, that the most challenging books will offer the greatest long-term rewards.

Keep in mind why you’re reading a particular book. We generally read nonfiction books to acquire specific knowledge and apply this knowledge to our lives. Learn to ask meaningful questions as you read a book as if you’re opening a dialogue with the author. Challenge yourself to further your understanding and re-read the material until the information is assimilated.

Related posts:

1. The Art of Serious Reading
2. Five Strategies to Improve Reading Effectiveness
3. Reading Categories

Quantum physicist David Bohm wrote extensively about how our minds are fragmented and how fragmentation leads to perceptual distortion. Our perception, filtered and tainted by limiting beliefs, distorted memories and experiences often shows us an inaccurate view of reality.

In an effort to better understand ourselves and move toward wholeness, Bohm introduced the idea of dialogue. Engaging in an open discussion, group members suspend their assumptions and normal reactions to a diverse range of ideas. The objective of a dialogue is to find shared meaning among group members.

No one tries to win in a dialogue. The spirit of a dialogue is radically different than most meetings and group discussions. A dialogue is not a game; no one tries to gain points. In dialogue, there is common participation where either the entire group benefits or no one does.

Bohm’s style of dialogue might seem impractical to businesses at first glance. Bohm explains, “In the dialogue group we are not going to decide what to do about anything … Our purpose is really to communicate coherently in truth, if you want to call that a purpose.”

Bohm isn’t suggesting, however, that every group gathering should be a dialogue. He offers dialogue as a more effective means of tackling big problems.

Leadership teams comprised of sophisticated creative professionals will benefit from scheduled dialogues. Without hidden personal agendas, dialogues can produce a free exchange of ideas that lead to more holistic thinking, higher levels of creativity and more meaningful discussions.

(I highly recommend reading Bohm’s On Dialogue. It’s a little book packed with powerful perspectives.)

Related posts:

1. 5 MORE Ways to Become Creative at Work
2. Reading with Purpose
3. Conducting Effective Meetings

1) Clean the Mental Slate

Belief systems and “paradigm blindness” blocks our ability to see things in new ways. Be willing to let go of how things are generally perceived and view the problem from a clean slate.

2) Facilitate Open Dialogue

Quantum physicist David Bohm introduced the idea of dialoguing where a group of people willingly let go of their perceived notions and seek to find shared meaning. Lead your meeting with a sense of openness and collaboration in search of shared meaning instead of a debate where members try to persuade each other.

3) Maintain a Positive Attitude

If you start with the assumption that there is a solution and you have the inner resources to uncover it, you’ll increase your chances of aligning to the answer.

4) Come From a Place of Humility

Humility is a universal quality of the genius. A true genius rarely takes credit for the creative work he produces. Most geniuses look to some form of a “Higher Power” as the Source of their creative efforts. See yourself as a mere conduit for the creative impulse rather than its originator.

5) Be Patient

The Muse often appears at the most unlikely time and place. Stay ready. Stay open. And be patient. The creative impulse is not a personal phenomenon. You’re tapping into a universal field of consciousness that transcends the understanding of the human mind. When the conditions are appropriate, the solution will present itself.

Creativity is our natural state when we remove the barriers to its manifestation. Keep this in mind and have an inspired day.

Related posts:

1. Five Ways to Become More Creative at Work
2. Relinquishing Control of the Creative Process
3. The Single Commonality of All Creative Geniuses